The Pope Is Taking Batting Practice

The boulevards of the world are awash in possible jokes, all of them tiresome even before they depart one’s lips or typing fingers. Why? Because the Pope is taking batting practice …

When I told you the Pope was taking batting practice it turns out I was not lying. This surprised even me. I just resisted a joke. And another. And then another. The Pope is taking batting practice.

I am scooting and clicking around my shitty home like an addled crab because the Pope is taking batting practice. What else am I to do? Stare mutely in the mirror at my mongrel’s visage? Ask my dog sincere questions?

Besides hiding from leering Heaven in my sump pit, I shall create a NotGraphs category called “The Pope is Taking Batting Practice.”

What else am I to do? Murder an urchin?

The Pope is taking batting practice, and he has a reasonable left-handed swing.

Push me down the stairs, ghosts about me.

Ed. Note: Dayn Perry would like to credit the editor’s friend Ross for finding this evergreen video.




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Handsome Dayn Perry can be found making love to the reader at CBSSports.com's Eye on Baseball. He is available for all your Twitter needs.


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filihok
Member
3 years 7 months ago

Much better than that CBS Eye on Sports dreck

Matt Hunter
Member
Member
3 years 7 months ago

That’s it. I’m converting to Catholicism.

Dan Rozenson
Guest
Dan Rozenson
3 years 7 months ago

The Pope is putting on batting gloves. The Pope is a lefty. The Pope fouled a pitch off.

Honestly, what the hell. (no pun intended)

MDL
Member
MDL
3 years 7 months ago

A pun in print is a pun in tended.

AlexandertheMeh
Member
AlexandertheMeh
3 years 7 months ago

4:19 – Even The Pope gets curious from time to time.

jerkstore
Guest
jerkstore
3 years 7 months ago

This is entirely unimpressive. It’s a great aerobic activity. He’s the pope. It would be weird if he didn’t take BP. Find me a video of that!

gnomez
Guest
gnomez
3 years 7 months ago

I suppose he played for the Cardinals.

dockmarm
Guest
dockmarm
3 years 7 months ago

Or the Padres.

FamousAmazingGuy
Guest
FamousAmazingGuy
3 years 7 months ago

Or the White Sox.

Jaack
Guest
Jaack
3 years 7 months ago

Or, now the Angels

FamousAmazingGuy
Guest
FamousAmazingGuy
3 years 7 months ago

Wow! Great find Dayn!

When I build the Parthenon of Embedding™, this will be right next to the Nutty Buddy.

Stuck in a Slump
Guest
Stuck in a Slump
3 years 7 months ago

I bet he’s been coached to slap those pitches into the ground. I bet he’s a burner on the base paths.

reillocity
Guest
reillocity
3 years 7 months ago

I doubt that. Besides the whole “Thou shall not steal.” Commandment angle, His Holiness figures to be a Station-to-Station baserunner.

reillocity
Guest
reillocity
3 years 7 months ago

And lest we forget that a lay person had to take over for JP2 on every single one of those rare occasions when he did manage to get to 3rd base.

eckmuhl
Member
eckmuhl
3 years 7 months ago

I just described the situation found within this gold nugget of a video in detail to my wife. She seemed rather unimpressed, before eventually letting out a laconic, “Pretty weird…” as if to signify the conversation had come to an end.
So now I am faced with two hypothesis: Either one can’t really grasp the full implications of the Pope taking batting practice without actually viewing the video itself, or, I need to find a new wife.

Tophat Sam
Guest
Tophat Sam
3 years 7 months ago

While watching the video muted has prohibited me from learning such wisdom from the fellow bishops discussing probably the most important questions that have ever existed, I have gained the pleasure of trying to read their lips, as in doing so have resulted in me reading such words as “Chase Utley”, “Damion Easley”, “Shannon Stewart”, and “Morgan Freeman.”

shibboleth
Guest
shibboleth
3 years 7 months ago

PJPII doesn’t believe in WAR

The Return of RamboDiaz
Guest
The Return of RamboDiaz
3 years 7 months ago

“The Pope works for His Father’s Construction Firm.”

Carson Cistulli
Admin
Member
3 years 7 months ago

Huzzah!

mattybobo
Guest
mattybobo
3 years 7 months ago

He was actually a pretty good athlete as a kid, apparently. He played soccer.

Le Grande Orange
Guest
Le Grande Orange
3 years 7 months ago

The Pope is stepping in the bucket.

MustBunique
Member
Member
3 years 7 months ago

Noticed that too. Great contact percentage, though.

EdwardM
Member
EdwardM
3 years 7 months ago

That’s worth a minimum of ten “Hail Mary’s”

steex
Guest
steex
3 years 7 months ago

Something about the Pope’s swing reminds me of a lefty Hunter Pence.

Mr. Smooth
Guest
Mr. Smooth
3 years 7 months ago

I would swear that was Ichiro in a white dress.

Also: Epic mustache/spectacles combo on the one dude.

bowie
Member
bowie
3 years 7 months ago

this is pretty dang weird — i live in santa cruz now, which only makes this weirder since that is apparently where the pope took bp in a cage.

My favorite line: “Your holiness, only 10 more swings.”

Nav
Guest
3 years 7 months ago

I love you, Dayn. I don’t tell you enough.

SDM
Guest
SDM
3 years 6 months ago

His Holiness has a pretty nice swing, reminds me of Ichiro’s. Since he’s on the Shortlist to becoming a Saint, can we stake a claim for him being the Patron of Baseball?

triple-A city
Guest
triple-A city
2 years 8 months ago

this remains the most incredible internet thing i have ever seen

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