Ben Revere’s Poor Keyboardsmanship

I have, perhaps, an unhealthy love for Ben Revere, who until today seemed like the very picture of perfection as a Major League Baseball player. A lovable speedster who was constantly hustling and who had an infectious smile, I was smitten immediately. Even the trade that sent him from my beloved Twins to the Phillies failed to dampen my enthusiasm for him.

And then he tweeted this yesterday:

@iknowjado: I miss my bro @BenRevere9” miss you too no homo

— Ben Revere (@BenRevere9) September 5, 2013

It has since been deleted.

At first, I was aghast that such a beautiful creature could tweet something so callously homophobic. I was all set to type a scathing response, explaining how I felt betrayed by yet another ballplayer I allowed to let me down. I was going to criticize him for his bad joke and me for my investment in Ben Revere’s purity. I was set to pine for an earlier time when we were allowed to pretend that flu-like symptoms were flu-like symptoms, Mickey Mantle was a hero, and beaver hunts were solely the province of voyageurs.


Then I looked down at my keyboard, and saw how the M and J adjoined one another, and I understood Ben Revere’s mistake. Indeed, “No HoJo.” That’s a sentiment I think we can all get behind.

hojono (1)

Huge thanks to Internetting Gentleman David Temple for photoshopping this for me while I’m on vacation.



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Mike Bates used to have a stupid pseudonym. Now he doesn't because people want to pay him to write about baseball on the Internet and he's really a sell out that way. He is also a Designated Columnist at SBNation, co-founder of The Platoon Advantage, and is an American Carpetbagger on Getting Blanked, the finest in Canadian baseball-type sites. His favorite word is paradigm. Follow him on Twitter here: http://www.twitter.com/commnman


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Frank
Guest
Frank

You’re very close. Clearly he meant “no homer”. I would imagine it is his nickname, tagline and e-mail signature already. He just tacked it onto the end of this tweet.

canuckassassin
Guest
canuckassassin

*No Homers. They’re allowed to have one.

James K.
Guest
James K.

You’re so sexy when you get indignant.

No homo.

B-dubbles
Guest
B-dubbles

He is clearly AFRAID of homosexuals. Stating that he is not gay proves it so. Such tripe should be beneath you. Yawn.

Cock LaCock
Guest
Cock LaCock

Is being afraid of gays and not wanting something to be misconstrued as showing homosexual affections the same thing?

As for tripe, it is delicious. I enjoy the texture of stomach lining, which I have enjoyed cold, but prefer spicy with chili oil. Are you degrading my tastes?! Alas, the weight of history will douse all our lamps at one time.

B-dubbles
Guest
B-dubbles

Thanks, Cock. Your first paragraph reiterates my point. The tweet was not offensive. Those that want to be offended, will always find a way, I suppose.

So sensitive.

Anon21
Guest
Anon21

I know, it’s kind of sad that straight white guys don’t get to exclusively define the boundaries of what and isn’t acceptable behavior according to what’s convenient for them anymore. But there’s no need to go crying all over this site, champ. There are places for people like you—I think they call them “Reddit”?

Cool Lester Smooth
Guest
Cool Lester Smooth

Ben Revere isn’t a white guy…

Wade8813
Guest
Wade8813

There is no single final arbiter of what counts as oppressive, and there never has been.

When Al Sharpton goes on a rant about how offensive something is, that doesn’t make it offensive regardless of his skin color.

Anon21
Guest
Anon21

No, Revere isn’t a white guy. But I’m certain that B-dubbles, who came rushing in here to proclaim that this is NOT OFFENSIVE (and oh by the way, in his opinion as a scholar of the Greek language, “homophobia” is TOTALLY NOT THE RIGHT WORD), is a white guy. And that he would be as ardent in defense of an off-handedly racist remark called out on Notgraphs.

Hitler but Sadder
Guest
Hitler but Sadder

I bet you are hung like a bull and I would pay top dollar to find out if I am correct… No homo

HAL9100
Guest
HAL9100

Good thing you tacked that on, because for a second there I was about to think you were “showing homosexual affections.”

Cock LaCock
Guest
Cock LaCock

That is clever, how about, I wish he were to sodomize me – no homo. Or, I would suck that handsome chap off, no homo. Is that offensive?

Dwayne Carter
Guest
Dwayne Carter

he listens to Lil Wayne, perhaps? Ben Revere is using a very common expression among certain demographic groups, the ones that don’t read fangraphs. i’m from Hollygrove, New Orleans, and this is just my two pennies, no HoJo.

Hideo Nomo
Guest
Hideo Nomo

Crown comment, mofo.

Cool Lester Smooth
Guest
Cool Lester Smooth

I did not think it was possible to care so, so little about a tweet that got deleted.

James K.
Guest
James K.

You’re gay.

Lucille Bluth
Guest
Lucille Bluth

You’re High!

Dietrich Bowar
Guest
Dietrich Bowar

As a Twins fan, I was perfectly fine with his trade. He played well in 2012, so you sell high. The Twins can produce major league outfielders. They cannot produce major league starting pitching. The Twins received a nice prospect in return, and even if Ben Revere would have remained with the Twins, it wouldn’t have changed the trajectory of a 3rd atrocious season.

Has he broken the record for most at bats to start a career without a home run? I know he was a few hundred short heading into this season, but he has been hurt….

Free Bryan LaHair
Guest
Free Bryan LaHair

YOLO = you only live once

therefore,

HOMO = he only misses once

Billy Willy
Guest
Billy Willy

Does that mean that Ben Revere wants whomever he is addressing to miss more than once, in what presumably would be a strikeout, given that this website seems to have a peculiar obsession with base and ball, where the only reasonable interpretation of miss would be concretely embodied in “Swing-an-uh-miss,” or, “Strike one”?

Free Bryan LaHair
Guest
Free Bryan LaHair

…yes

RC
Guest
Member
RC

While it’s clear that he meant “no HoJo”, there is still a question of which Howard Johnson he was referring to. Was it the former 1st baseman who played primarily for the Mets in the 80s and early 90s? Or was it a reference to the once popular restaurant and motel chain that was founded in Quincy, Mass in 1925?

Furthermore, was the comment meant to show distaste for said ballplayer or motel/restaurant chain, or simply a statement of fact, as the motel/restaurant chain has not done very well in recent years. From Wikipedia: “As of June 2012, only three original Howard Johnson’s restaurants remain: one in Lake Placid, New York, another in Bangor, Maine and the third in Lake George, New York.”

No HoJo indeed, Ben. No HoJo indeed.

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