Bob Gibson is walking toward you…

Robert “Bob” Gibson is walking toward you.

His fastball has been described as “blazing,” which doesn’t do it justice, but that doesn’t much matter now — Bob Gibson doesn’t seem like he will be using his fastball. His slider would make you buckle into a heap of flesh, make you faint — which makes you wish he would throw it — you don’t want to be conscious when Bob Gibson gets to you — but that isn’t happening either. Bob Gibson is walking toward you.

Where is your spine, you ask yourself. It seems to have fled — and you’d be wise to follow it if you were capable of movement. Or, your spine has changed into something other than bone — a windsock, perhaps. Your spine has become a windsock because Bob Gibson is walking towards you.

Bob Gibson saw such a windsock once when he was in high school. It wiggled lazily in the breeze and then tried to lay down a bunt on him. You know what Bob Gibson did to that windsock then? He ate it. Bob Gibson ate that windsock, and now he is going to eat your windsock spine after he rips it from your rice-paper flesh. Yes, as Bob Gibson walks toward you, it appears he has an appetite for a windsock. Bob Gibson has been craving windsock since he ate that windsock back in high school.

Bob Gibson is walking toward you. Or, you assume he is still walking toward you. All you can see now is stars, so you don’t really know for sure. All you can hear is something like the rhythmic thump of shovelfuls of soil hitting a casket top. Are you in the casket? Are you a blind bystander at your own funeral?

You are a speck of dung nestled in the turf, and Bob Gibson has walked right over you.



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Big Bucks Bonilla
Guest
Big Bucks Bonilla

…Holy f^#k

John Elway
Member

NEIGHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Meant To Be
Guest
Meant To Be

Someone needs to introduce Banknotes Harper to Robert Gibson.

Men To Be
Guest
Men To Be

Dayn Perry can be an official. His only rule–there are no rules!

The Return of Rambo Diaz
Guest
The Return of Rambo Diaz

When Bob Gibson walks towards you, all you hear are whispers of 1.12 in your ears. And then you’re dead.

Mike Green
Guest
Mike Green

It all started when you jokingly asked how the umpire lost his chest protector.

Spa City
Member
Member
Spa City

The only thing we have to fear is fear itself. The only thing fear itself has to fear is Bob Effing Gibson.

Mordecai
Guest
Mordecai

Hope this was a first draft. Or at least tell us it was written in a drug-induced stupor and made sense then.

John Elway
Member

Draft, drug-induced stupor. Mordecai, are you actually Ha Ha Clinton-Dix?

Just neighing.

olethros
Guest
olethros

I own this baseball card.

JKB
Guest
JKB

I was thinking the same thing. I never thought of Gibson as mean though, just incredibly focused & intense.

JKB
Guest
JKB

Now that Star Wars Ep. 7 is a real thing, I really would like to see a Bob Gibson biopic get made… and a miniseries on HBO based on “The Glory of Their Times”. Then my cinematic wish list would be complete.

Wobatus
Guest
Wobatus

and Joe Torre is just gonna stand there, hands on his knees, watching.

Nevin
Guest
Nevin

And then he ravishes you

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