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Boughten: Bad-Ass Clemente T-Shirt

I bought a t-shirt today …

“Mr. Roberto Clemente!” I said upon purchase. “One must certainly respect the great Mr. Roberto Clemente!”

“One must certainly not,” sniffed Cistulli, who, unbeknownst to me, had been lurking behind a potted palm the entire time. “And his name is not ‘Mr. Clemente.’ His name is ‘Bobo Clementines.’ The honorific is reserved for men of honor. Bobo Clementines is a mewling baby coward.”

“How can you say such things?” I gasped.

“Charity is vice,” sniffed Cistulli. “Death is weakness. I do not respect Bobo Clementines.”

Then he ravished me.