Brandon Phillips’s Neck

This headline from the Dayton Daily News (“‘For Sale’ sign on [Brandon] Phillips’ neck”) made me think I was about to read a piece about Brandon Phillips and a very strange neck tattoo. As it turns out, it is merely an awkward headline about the Reds looking to trade Phillips and not a new addition to the bizarre and disturbing neck tattoo trend. (Is it a trend? Or have I only noticed neck tattoos recently? And why in the world would anyone ever want to get a tattoo on his neck? I mean, I don’t understand why anyone would want to get a tattoo anywhere, but on your NECK?)

This leads me to a neck tattoo quiz. Can you name the following players AND identify what the heck is pictured on their necks?

Neck 2

Neck 3

Neck 6

Neck 7

Neck 8

Neck 9

Kansas City Royals v Cincinnati Reds




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Jeremy Blachman is the author of Anonymous Lawyer, a satirical novel that should make people who didn't go to law school feel good about their life choices. Read more at McSweeney's or elsewhere. He likes e-mail.


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Bluebird in Boulder
Guest
Bluebird in Boulder
2 years 11 months ago

The first one is Jon Rauch. He appears to have a catenane tattooed between laurel leaves. I am sure this pays tribute to his first summer job at Morehead State University where he worked as an organic chemist. The laurel leaves, a symbol of victory, seem to show that his synthetic work was rather successful.

Paul
Guest
Paul
2 years 11 months ago

Jon Rauch, Ryan Roberts, Prince Fielder, Yadier Molina, Carl Crawford, Felix Hernandez, Felipe Lopez, Brandon Phillips.

Paul
Guest
Paul
2 years 11 months ago

I would ask “what did I win?”, but I think it’s actually obvious that I lose because I have wasted my time knowing the neck tattoos of MLB players.

Pirates Hurdles
Guest
Pirates Hurdles
2 years 11 months ago

You win nothing because you didn’t answer the question –

“Can you name the following players AND identify what the heck is pictured on their necks?”

Willy Wonka
Guest
Willy Wonka
2 years 11 months ago

You win NOTHING! You LOSE! GOOD DAY sir!

Wobatus
Guest
Wobatus
2 years 11 months ago

No, he wins. He named the players and what is pictured on their necks is tattoo stuff. As in: That’s Jon Rauch and his Jon Rauch neck tattoo.

Izzy
Guest
Izzy
2 years 11 months ago

Felix Hernandez has a flower. At least, that’s what I hope it is.

nickolai
Guest
nickolai
2 years 11 months ago

I would love to see a Godaddy.com logo plastered on Brandon’s neck.

nickolai
Guest
nickolai
2 years 11 months ago

One of the above neck tattoos says “Prince” in korean…but not sure which one.

Purple Jesus
Guest
Purple Jesus
2 years 11 months ago

I would imgine that’s Prince Fielder’s .. lol.

Stan
Guest
Stan
2 years 11 months ago

Trick question. The thing on Carl Crawford’s neck is a spermatozoon .

stringbeans3
Member
stringbeans3
2 years 11 months ago

Yadier is lucky he’s good at baseball.

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