BREAKING NEWS: JONNY GOMES OWNS A RAZOR

It must be the offseason, because this is a top headline on Fox Sports.

Gomes

Coming up later this week:

MICHAEL BRANTLEY BRUSHES HIS TEETH

RYAN ZIMMERMAN USES SHAMPOO… AND CONDITIONER

SHANE VICTORINO GOES #2

and

MIKE TROUT IS STILL BREATHING




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Jeremy Blachman is the author of Anonymous Lawyer, a satirical novel that should make people who didn't go to law school feel good about their life choices. Read more at McSweeney's or elsewhere. He likes e-mail.


2 Responses to “BREAKING NEWS: JONNY GOMES OWNS A RAZOR”

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  1. Rich Mahogany says:

    ALEX RODRIGUEZ EXHIBITS POOR JUDGMENT

    Vote -1 Vote +1

  2. triple_r says:

    It probably goes without saying, but: LOUD NOISES

    Vote -1 Vote +1

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