Brian McCann: Fun Police

Update: As with most of my great ideas, it turns out that someone has had this one first. Last week, Scott Weber of the always excellent Lookout Landing did something incredibly similar . So similar our titles are pretty near identical. I was not aware of his work before writing this post because I am an idiot. My apologies to Scott. Please go check out his fine work.

Update #2: This is for commenter reillocity below:

Kulikov_Writer_E.N.Chirikov_1904

Last night, Buzzfeed Sports took a short break from posting pictures of adorable animals in baseball uniforms to chide the Pittsburgh Pirates, who haven’t had a winning season, let alone won a playoff game, for more than 20 years, for celebrating their win over the Cincinnati Reds:

 

And, of course, they were right to do so. For who isn’t sick to death of the city of Pittsburgh and the Pirates and all their bullshit happiness at finally winning, and releasing the tension that has been building up for more than a generation. Fuck those guys.

Thankfully, as he always is whenever someone is being joyful or doing something remotely interesting, angry dad Brian McCann was there to tell them to tone it down and cut the fun short:

 Byrd

This is part of Brian McCann’s mission as he leaps from life to life, striving to put right what once went wrong and hoping each time that his next leap will be the leap home:

Oprah

Aaron

wwii-kiss1

Sacking Rome

This has been “Ruining History with Brian McCann.”




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Mike Bates used to have a stupid pseudonym. Now he doesn't because people want to pay him to write about baseball on the Internet and he's really a sell out that way. He is also a Designated Columnist at SBNation, co-founder of The Platoon Advantage, and is an American Carpetbagger on Getting Blanked, the finest in Canadian baseball-type sites. His favorite word is paradigm. Follow him on Twitter here: http://www.twitter.com/commnman

16 Responses to “Brian McCann: Fun Police”

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  1. KCDaveInLA says:

    My day has just been made, now it’s untouchable.

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  2. Vince says:

    This is a blatant rip-off of a Lookout Landing post from last week, not cool http://www.lookoutlanding.com/2013/9/26/4773482/a-brief-history-of-brian-mccann-fun-cop

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    • Mike Bates says:

      Hey Vince,

      As the writer of this piece, I want to be clear that I would not, in any way, steal someone else’s ideas and try to pass them off as my own. And I certainly wouldn’t do it to the good people of Lookout Landing, for whom I have the highest respect, or NotGraphs, for whom I have much less.

      I had not seen or heard of Scott’s piece until he pointed it out to me on Twitter. I have since apologized to him and have added a paragraph up top explaining what happened, have alerted Carson of the issue, and I take full responsibility for not being aware of Scott’s fine work. Obviously, Brian McCann’s trip through history, which was going to make repeat appearances here in the coming weeks, has been cut short.

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    • pinch says:

      jeebus brian, take a breather.

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    • KCDaveInLA says:

      Two people in the great big world getting the same idea and both posting them on the Internets? Oh dear, we’re all gonna die…

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  3. Kevin Mark says:

    Should have included a photo of McCann telling Babe Ruth something as he rounded the bases vs Cubs in World Series after his “called shot.”

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  4. reillocity says:

    Rather than a text update, can I please have a JPG of Brian McCann berating you about that someone at some other website did something similar last week?

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  5. Charle says:

    Brian McCann is the commissioner of the Home Run Police. You should respect him, or he will make sure you get beaned, or at least don’t reach home.

    http://thenationalsreview.com/2013/09/26/team-atlanta-hr-police/

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  6. fooddetective says:

    Instead of Brian McCann ruining everything, replace him with Vince?

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  7. Rob says:

    Really funny piece, thank you for posting. However, PDA is never acceptable.

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  8. Serious guy says:

    So what is the last picture? Atilla the Hun enterimg Rome? Im probably an idiot but I dont know. Someone help please

    Muchas thank you

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  9. Matt says:

    Nice work from Lookout Landing, but I kind of like yours better. The quotes are what made it.

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  10. Toasty says:

    I’m happy to see in the tweet replies that our old friend Summer Anne was among those who chided the author of said tweet.

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  11. Chris K says:

    Apparently the Braves refused to catch Chipper Jones’ first pitch because he predicted the Dodgers to win in 4:

    http://hardballtalk.nbcsports.com/2013/10/08/the-braves-wouldnt-catch-chipper-jones-ceremonial-first-pitch-because-he-didnt-pick-them-to-win/

    Can we get one at McCann shouting at Nostradamus that predicting is too fun?

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