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Brian Wilson’s Cavalcade of Sex Metaphors

Internet computers everywhere are no doubt aware of Brian Wilson’s championship appearance on something called “Lopez Tonight,” but we’d be remiss if we didn’t post it anyway. As you’ll soon see, some redundancies are worth redundancy …


The “veteran purveyor of processed faux-tilapia logs” look is a winning one, to be sure. And the second hat and Finding Nemo socks are also worth the price of admission. Bonus: If you were short on thinly veiled references to coitus, then consider your quota now met and exceeded. As you might anticipate, Mr. Wilson is now a board-certified dirty birdie! Oh, and thanks to Lil’ Pat Burrell for showing up.

As for Mr. Wilson’s offseason travels, which have presumably made him into a kind of walking Zagat guide to the Thai sex trade, at this point we are duty-bound to summon Murray Head to the podium …

(Curtsy: Pretty much all of you.)