Bud Selig has Bieber Fever

According to MLB.com:

Selig: ‘Never say never’ about changing DH rule

“Never Say Never,” is, of course, a Justin Bieber song (and album title). So, clearly, Selig is a Belieber.

NotGraphs has obtained an exclusive copy of the new lyrics Bud Selig has written for “Never Say Never: DH edition”

Never say never
Never ever, never, never ever, never ever

See I never thought that I could walk through fire
Since my on base percentage is quite low
I never had the skills to take it higher
Perhaps ’cause I’m a pitcher, I don’t know

But then the DH rule was here
And I had nothing to fear
I did not have to own a bat
Unless my team traded me

I will never say never
I will bat
But I’ll strike out ’til forever
I cannot hit

Oh, please, oh, National League
Let my bat stay on the ground
Pick it up, pick it up, pick it up, pick it up, up, up
And never say never

Okay, so it’s still a bit of a work in progress.




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Jeremy Blachman is the author of Anonymous Lawyer, a satirical novel that should make people who didn't go to law school feel good about their life choices. Read more at McSweeney's or elsewhere. He likes e-mail.


3 Responses to “Bud Selig has Bieber Fever”

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  1. Erik says:

    If you’re picking Bieber song titles out of Bud Selig press releases, I’m not sure you’ve identified the correct party as the ‘Belieber.’

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  2. John says:

    This was cringeworthy.

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  3. Micah Stupak says:

    Whoever ‘chopped that should be in front of the International Court of Justice post-haste.

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