Cake vs. Pie, Baseball Edition


In the epic battle that is cake vs. pie, I’m relatively certain we’ve all already chosen our sides, dug in our heels, and prepared to kill our own brother if necessary. Personally, I’m a cake guy because, like the estimable Paul F. Tompkins, frosting makes all the difference to me.  And I never much liked my brother anyway.

This debate has largely been left to arena of actual desserts, however, and we have not delved into the quandary that is Cake vs. Pie, Baseball Edition!  Choose your sides carefully:

James Alvin Palmer

Nickname: Cakes

Nickname origin: Ate pancakes for breakfast every day he pitched.

Position: Starting Pitcher

Team: Orioles

Hall of Fame: 1990

Relevant stats: 268-152, 2.86 ERA, 3.50 FIP, 2212 Ks, 51.5 WAR

Relevant quotes:

“Someone once asked me if I had any physical incapacities of my own. ‘Sure I do,’ I said. ‘One big one – Jim Palmer.” – Earl Weaver

“Cakes has won 242 games, but it took a picture of him standing in his underwear to get nationally known.” – Mike Flanagan

X-Factor: We’re apparently talking about more than one cake here.


Harold Joseph Traynor

Nickname: Pie

Nickname origin: “After sandlot baseball games when the other youngsters would ask for ice cream as a treat from the parish priest, I would ask for pie.”

Position: Third Base

Team: Pirates

Hall of Fame: 1948

Relevant stats: .320/.362/.435, 58 HR, 2416 Hits, wOBA .366, WAR 37.4

Relevant quotes:

“Traynor had feet like violin cases.” – Ed Barrow

“He was a mechanically perfect third baseman, a man of intellectual worth on the field of play.” – Branch Rickey

X-Factor: Never learned to drive a car. I’m not sure why that matters, but it feels like it should.



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Mike Bates used to have a stupid pseudonym. Now he doesn't because people want to pay him to write about baseball on the Internet and he's really a sell out that way. He is also a Designated Columnist at SBNation, co-founder of The Platoon Advantage, and is an American Carpetbagger on Getting Blanked, the finest in Canadian baseball-type sites. His favorite word is paradigm. Follow him on Twitter here:

4 Responses to “Cake vs. Pie, Baseball Edition”

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  1. dp says:

    I could never trust–or regard, for that matter–any man with hair as eerily perfect as Jim Palmer’s. Also, cake is inherently inferior, and I am bald. Pie it is.

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  2. DerekJeterGiftBasket says:

    Cookie Rojas looks pretty nervous in that picture.

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  3. Felix Pie says:


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