Archive for A Picture and the Amount of Words It’s Worth

There’s a Village on the Infield Grass

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This isn’t unique to baseball, but the structure of the game, the design of the field, and the player positions, lends itself to a little fantasizing. Also, Dodger Stadium is way more fun to draw than any other park. Click: big, obvs.


Photo: My Actual Mother’s Actual Red Sox Tattoo

Tattoo

Very talented modern fictionist George Saunders says in an interview I’m unable to locate for a publication I can’t recall — he says that he didn’t begin to write proficiently until he returned to a voice that most resembled the sort utilized by people in Chicago, his hometown.

For me, I’ve always been skeptical of that tired directive, recited often in creative-writing workshops, that one should “write what [he or she] knows.” I prefer, both as a reader and writer, to be caught up in an experience that is expressly not available to me in my actual, real life. Still, there’s probably some merit to revealing certain elements of one’s own life to the reader.

Pursuant to that point, I present the above image — of my actual birth mother’s actual arm — which arm bears a tattoo of the Boston Red Sox’ cap insignia and which tattoo I know for a true fact she received whilst visiting me in 2007 or -08 (one of those) in Portland, Oregon. As regards the state of her sobriety at the time, I’m unable to comment. That this is a photo of her arm from tonight, however, is a point beyond contention.


Erick Aybar Admiral Ackbar

There are a few things you can do in the shower — wash, sing, fondle, etc. Sometimes, showering helps me come up with ideas for this very blog site. My shower session this morning produced the following results.

aybarackbar

From now on, I will stick to fondling.


Baseballizing the World Cup

Hey there, citizens of those Majestic Gleaming States of Hot Sexy America, you must be sick to death of the World Cup by now, right? All that socialist teamwork and not using your hands to move the ball into the thing at the end.

Why do all the games end 0-0, right? Have you ever noticed that the score 0-0 looks like John Lennon’s glasses? Bloody peaceniks.

I, your English correspondent, am here to baseballize things for you. So here’s some World Cup photographs from Mexican newspapers that I’ve made Coulter-and-Shaughnessy-friendly.

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One MS-Painting of a Ballpark

I can’t compete with Craig Robinson’s brilliant art. I can only try my best.

(People in the comments wanted to buy Craig’s. Anyone interested in mine?)

Shea Stadium (from memory) (I am nearsighted) (And I have a bad memory) (And it’s almost a holiday) (And I moved this week) (So please forgive me) (Doesn’t this kind of look like a piece of pizza?) (I’m hungry) (Can I just say Hopeless Joe made this?) (Or my eight-month old son?)

Shea


Eighteen Paintings of Ballparks

It’s five years today since I was last visited a ballpark in the United States. So, self-indulgently, here are some paintings of all the major league parks I have visited.

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Yankee Stadium, April 23, 2006

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New Hats For Alex Torres

Alex Torres– who I should have protected on my Scoresheet team!– over the weekend became the first pitcher to wear a padded, protective, giant, silly-looking hat on the mound. Hats off to Torres– or, I guess, hats on to him– for not wanting to get injured by a comebacker. Really, the part of me not trying to wring a NotGraphs post from this is 100% behind the hat, players should absolutely try to avoid being seriously injured by stuff, however clunky the hat looks.

Ah, but the part of me that is trying to wring a NotGraphs post from this thought it would make sense to search the Internet a bit for some alternative hats that Torres might consider wearing his next time on the mound.

Presenting: New Hats for Alex Torres

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A Blog Post For The Masses, and By Masses I Mean “Not Many People”

When I was asked by Signore Cistulli if I would consider regularly debasing myself to contribute to NotGraphs, I read between the lines and saw the invisible words “post stuff that appeals to as few readers as possible.” Today, I present something that appeals to a tiny demographic. You, as a NotGraphs reader, are in a small subset of all baseball fans. Discerning, right? Not the normal meathead home run fuck yeah bozos. A smaller subset of you NotGraphs readers are New Order fans. An even smaller subset of you New Order-lovin’ NotGraphs readers are graphic design nerds. This post is for you.

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Summer 2014: The Animated GIF

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Click it if you want, but it’s ain’t gettin’ any bigger, pal.


The North Shore Navigators Really Love Each Other

The North Shore Navigators are a baseball team from Lynn, MA playing in the Futures Collegiate Baseball League. They use wooden bats. Cistulli knows a lot about them, I’d guess. Other facts about the Navigators can be found on their Wikipedia page, but those facts are trivial compared to the content of this here web page. Because what Wikipedia can’t tell you about the Navigators, is that they are in love. The relevant screenshot, below:

Wet Hot American Summer

You’ll notice the players who’ve moved on to professional baseball are listed as Coming Soon! Evident in this picture is that this might apply to one Navigator “sooner!” than the others.

Take in the following three images while listening to the Twin Peaks Soundtrack. 

And understand The Love of the Navigators.

May These Fingers Never Forget This Touch

ImpassionedVisage

Curious Member