Archive for Adventures of Joe West

Joe West Ejects Vancouver Riot Couple

While it’s unclear what sort of dark forces would compel every media source to misreport same, one thing that is clear is the totally unadulterated image you see above here. As plain as the disgust on Joe West’s face is Joe West himself, ejecting a couple that’s now become famous for briefly visiting Make Out City during the recent Vancouver riots.

I think it’s time we stop asking “Quis custodiet ipsos custodes?” and start asking “Quis custodiet ipsum Joe West?”

Graduation-style posed handshake for Mr. J. Durbin.


Joe West on a Balcony

Where I imagine The Great Ejector practices his form, in uniform, every morning.

Image credit, and my inspiration: Daily Dose of Imagery.


Joe West in a Dark Alley

Joe West will meet you — and toss you — any time, any place, boy.

Original image credit: Daily Dose of Imagery.


Joe West Ejected by Boston Faithful

On Friday night, The Great Ejector was ejected. Think about that for a minute, or ten.

Oh, how the tables have turned.

And, yes, you can absolutely trust NESN.com’s Jeff Howe on this one. He knows a guy.

Bravo, Boston. I am indubitably impressed. Bravo.


The Real Life Adventures of Joe West

I missed Wednesday night’s festivities between the Toronto Blue Jays and Tampa Bay Rays. I was, believe it or not, playing hockey. I know: I am an actual, living, in-the-flesh Canadian stereotype.

Anyway, you can imagine my chagrin upon learning that I missed a Joe West ejection, two Chad Fairchild ejections, and all the drama that accompanied them. Life isn’t fair.

Thankfully, though, intrepid journalistic organizations — Reuters, for example — employ some of the finest sports photographers in the business, and they caught Joe West in action. It’s his form — his damn fine form — that I have become so enamored with.

Read the rest of this entry »


Photo: Stealing Second, Revisited

Navin Naswani showed you this interesting photo last week:

What he failed to highlight, however, was the presence of Friend of Site, Ejector of Fears, Joe West. Yes, ol’ Westy actually inspired this event, spinal tapping the base-pilfering hippie — demanding he eject the second base by all means necessary. Computer, ENHANCE!:

God bless that Micronian.


Video: Joe West, Entire City Lose Respective Minds

Nominally, this is a WGN sports report from July of 1991. In reality, it’s a case study in what can happen when man is stripped of his civilizing influences.

Annotations follow, with time-elapsed marks.

0:00 — Video begins with frightening ghost-person* looking directly into soul of viewer. (*Direct translation from German.)

0:08 — Anchorman uses words “rock and roll” in manner befitting of his era.

0:10 — Festive collared t-shirt!

0:22 — Soccer player, for some reason, jogs behind correspondent at Wrigley Field.

0:44 — “Oop, that’s the wrong tape.”

0:56 — Joe West assumes the position.

1:04 — Joe West resumes the position.

1:11 — Andre Dawson experiments with look he calls the “I Just Killed Your Family.”

1:16 — Bat-tossing!

1:23 — Bat-tossing!

1:30 — Joe West experiments with look he calls “The Horrible Child.”

1:34 — Bat-tossing!

1:40 — Commence cheerful littering.

1:56 — Rob Dibble does legitimately strange thing.

2:01 — Unusually incisive commentary regarding Rob Dibble’s mental health.

2:31 — Andre Dawson gives brief tutorial on how to properly groom and wear a mustache.

2:47 — Andre Dawson distinguishes himself among ballplayers for using adverb.

3:28 — Andre Dawson articulates something particular about Joe West.

4:20 — Phrase “mighty Toronto Blue Jays” uttered without irony.

4:27 — Hawk Harrelson’s voice happens.

Deep, prostrating bow to reader/ubermensch glassSheets.


Joe West Clears Kevin Youkilis For Takeoff

(Hat tip to my boy Nick for the Youk pic)


Joe West Was There in Spirit

This one comes courtesy of NotGraphs reader — and quite possibly New York Mets relief pitcher extraordinaire — Francisco Rodriguez.

When there’s an ejection in baseball, I like to think Joe West knows about it. It’s innate. The Great Ejector closes his eyes and, boom, he’s there, tossing whoever needs to be tossed.

Sunday afternoon on the South Side of Chicago, when Joe Maddon ejected the entire umpiring crew, Joe West was there, figuratively speaking.

Because an ejecting party without Joe West is hardly an ejecting party at all.

Thank you kindly, Francisco Rodriguez. Keep up the great work in New York, if you actually are K-Rod.


Joe West Appreciates Street Justice

No, I can’t prove this is The Great Ejector behind the plate in the video below, but — really — what other man in blue would break into applause at the sight of a fallen lawbreaker? Yes, we can assume the hitter had it coming because otherwise Joe West would’ve done what he does and ejected the offending pitcher. In this righteous instance, though, it wouldn’t surprise me if Joe West deputized the pitcher and told him to take care of things or he’d see to it that things got taken care of. He’s clapping because the young man on the mound just cut his teeth in the ways of the (Joe) West.