Archive for Audio and/or Visual

There’s a YouTube Channel of Mostly Baseball Ejections

eJECTIONS

The purpose of this post is to announce, for the benefit of those who endeavor to maximize their experience of pleasure while simultaneously minimizing pain, that there appears to be a YouTube channel (MLBGlobal11) which features a not-insubstantial quantity of videos depicting major-league players and coaches getting ejected from games — many of which are accessible from this specific video of Angels pitcher Jered Weaver receiving an invitation from umpire Hunter Wendelstedt to remove his person from the field in 2011.

Credit to MinorLeagueBlog for originally drawing the Weaver video to the author’s attention.


How Many Beers Does Jayson Werth Have?

You at home count along. The answer is below the jump:

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Dear Cubs Public Relations

Dear Cubs Public Relations,

I have your next seventh-inning stretch singer here. All he requires for his appearance is three tickets to Chicago from California, a sippy cup of milk, and a hot dog (perhaps an adult soda for his handler). He might not start out perfectly, but hey, it’s not like Ozzy Osbourne knew any the lyrics to Take Me Out. And anyway, it’s all about the finish. This candidate finishes with gusto.

If you’d like to book this act, please contact our agent, Banknotes Harper, at the cc’ed address.

Thank you for your attention,

Eno Sarris


A-Rod Still Awaiting Ice Bucket Challenge Invitation

arodicebucket


Is “Deadball” the Best or Just the Greatest Movie Ever?

Your friend, my friend, and friend of NotGraphs Max Taylor points out there is in fact possibly the finest baseball film ever and, no surprises here, it comes from the home of the no-nonsense film industry in Japan. It’s called Deadball and this is its trailer:

Some highlights:
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Video: Larry David on the Role of Religion in Sports

As you may know already, my wife had been out of town for a week. This getaway was supposedly under the guise of “roller derby convention,” though her noticeable tan, freshly-plucked eyebrows, and faint smell of suntan lotion and Calvin Klein cologne say otherwise. There is also her icy demeanor toward me, but I think she already had that when she left. Or maybe she got it at the duty-free shop. I can’t remember. It’s been so long now.

Nevertheless, her absence has allowed me to do things that may otherwise annoy her in a two-person setting. This has mainly constituted of watching every episode of Curb Your Enthusiasm. Roll those eyes all you want, this is a perfectly good use of my time. The star of the show, Larry David — or at least the character version of himself that he plays — purports to being a fairly big baseball fan. Throughout the series, he makes mention of many New York Yankees, and even seems to base a whole episode around the a revelation that he has taken a performance-enhancing drug (Viagra) keeping him out of the Baseball Hall of Fame (by the women he is seeing, who happens to be holding the tickets).

The thing that made me laugh the hardest, though — well, the thing that, in addition to two bourbons, made me laugh the hardest — was the following:

I’m not a terribly big fan of converting nouns into verbs, but in this case — this very specific and rarely-applicable case — I will stand down.


Munenori Kawasaki Update: A Monkey Never Cramps

    “I am nothing if not an enormous, glittering fan of Munenori Kawasaki.”

    -Albert Einstein

When last we caught up with Japan’s greatest export, Munenori was on pace to became the greatest hitter in MLB history by the 2018 season. The present update comes at a time — a blusterous, unforeseeable time — wherein Munenori Kawasaki is (still) an everyday starter for the playoff-hopeful Toronto Blue Jays. He also continues to add flexibility to his resume. Not only is he blapping a respectable 89 wRC+, he is playing more third base of late:

Blue Jays Defs

But most importantly, Mune — who, by the way, is the only play who will appear when you search FanGraphs for “Mune”; so that’s a time saving tip for your daily Mune stat-checks — Mune has offered a PSA, a Public Service Announcement or a Public Tell’em All Abouts (as they call it in Canada), concerning cramps:


Erick Aybar Admiral Ackbar

There are a few things you can do in the shower — wash, sing, fondle, etc. Sometimes, showering helps me come up with ideas for this very blog site. My shower session this morning produced the following results.

aybarackbar

From now on, I will stick to fondling.


VIDEO: 5 Hot, Smoldering Minutes of Defense

A double-dosage of thanks to Youtuber tensaibaka for compiling the best defensive moments (and one pitching moment) of the NPB’s month of June. Girdle your mind for adventure:

It starts with a Mario Super Sluggers eephus pitch. Anything that starts with an eephus pitch will only make happiness smoulder in your chest like a-bucket-hot-wings heartburn. And here are some of the more funnest ones, en-GIF’d:

Jumps!
The over-jump!

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Introducing the Dayn Perry Message Notification

In almost every case, cell phone alerts are at best an annoyance and at worst punch-provoking. We civil folk have pretty much come to terms with the fact that a cell phone should stay on vibrate.

But there are rare instances in which an audible alert is necessary — text messages from Ronald Reagan’s ghost, emails concerning which minority you’ve recently offended, weather notifications keeping you abreast when a tornado is about to upend the home of a former employer, and Google alerts for “Cheryl Tiegs Hacksaw Jim Duggan Sex Tape” are some examples.

In situations such as these, I suggest an audible message notification. Sure, you could use a standard boo doop or ding ding like a common dirt-person. But why buy the cow when you can mix your metaphors for free?

In the spirit of FanGraphs: The Ringtone, it is my pleasure to introduce The Dayn Perry Message Notification. I can’t say for sure when you should use it, but if you really need my help finding the proper situation, you probably shouldn’t use it at all.

Download at will.