Archive for Audio and/or Visual

MiLB.TV Feed Doubles as Helpful Traffic Webcam

Almost notable prospects Stephen Landazuri and Dario Pizzano played for the Double-A Jackson Generals today, the latter recording his fifth home run in just over 100 plate appearances for that Mariners affiliate (box).

Of perhaps even greater interest, however — at least to anyone who finds himself compelled to drive along I-40 outside of Jackson, Tennessee — is that the Generals MiLB.TV feed also serves as an entirely useful traffic webcam for that same stretch of American freeway.

The author can report with some certainty, for example — owing to the GIF embedded here — that at 1:05pm ET today traffic was running smoothly along the aforementioned highway. As for the conditions on that same interstate at the moment, this is a different questions.

Songs to Which Brady Aiken Was Possibly Conceived

The Houston Astros’ first pick in the 2014 draft, and the first overall pick of said draft, was left-handed pitcher Brady Aiken. This is a picture of Brady Aiken.


Since Brady Aiken is 17 years old, and since this is a picture of Brady Aiken, it stands to reason that this is a picture of a 17-year-old. For reasons of comparison, here is an approximation of what this author looked like at 17:


His “golf club salesman at Dick’s Sporting Goods” look aside, Aiken is indeed a child. But 17 is just a number. Perhaps we should use the measuring stick of popular culture to help us reason with just how young 17 is.

Brady Aiken was born in August of 1996, meaning he was conceived toward the end of 1995. Leveraging this information along with information gleaned about popular music in 1995, here are songs that Brady Aiken’s parents MIGHT have been listening to whilst making — unbeknownst to them — a future millionaire. I have ranked these in order of likelihood — least to most — in the attempt to make this even more creepy.

Possibility 1:

Possibility 2:

Possibility 3:

Possibility 4:

Possibility 5:

The Top Three Arms of the 2014 Draft

The 2014 amateur draft begins tonight at 6pm ET tonight — and, while there’s some uncertainty regarding the specific order in which they’ll be selected, there’s less mystery about which pitchers are the draft’s best.

To better acquaint the reader with those pitchers, below are images of their respective arms, accompanied by analysis of same.

Brady Aiken, LHP, Cathedral Catholic HS (Calif.)
This arm is positioned a little bit behind the pitcher’s body.


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Video Game History: Tornado Baseball, 1976


    • “tor-nah-do”
    • “Postage paid!!!” *rapturous laughter*
    • Outfield shifting!
    • Invisible batsmen!
    • Jeanette and Alex, their love preserved for all ages, heralded throughout the universe with a resounding ITA!
    • BRRRMP. Double!

According to this totally reputable source, Tornado Baseball (1976) was the third baseball video game released to the public. That makes it a key component to–


The Baseball-Cat Marriage is Ready; It’s Ready

This happens tomorrow.

You, you’re here with me, on the internet. So doubtless you’ve seen this:

Hero Cat

I know, right?

But you may not realize this brings about the final age of baseball. Writers know the best stories have inevitable endings — those stories that can end only one way — Juliet, Romeo, they must die — Yossarian must never leave the island but by desertion — and Finnegan’s Wake must, um, riverrun, past Eve and Adam’s, from swerve of shore to bend of bay, brings us by a commodius vicus of recirculation back to Howth Castle and Environs… James Joyce is a helluva drug.

I diverged. This brings baseball to its final, most golden age. The Cat-Baseball Era.
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The Straight (and Quick!) Poop on American Invention


If you’ve watched the MLB Network for more than 12 consecutive minutes, you’ve seen the commercial for the revolutionary Speed Hitter. Now, inspired by the ad-driven success of said Speed Hitter, another enterprising go-getter has tapped the entrepreneurial spirit that makes America what it is – i.e., not Antarctica, which ranks first in per capita frostbite but dead last in entrepreneurship – by inventing an inventive invention that will “wipe out” – ha! – the competition.

{Opening scene of commercial: Beset with exasperation, a young man is sitting on an American Standard flush toilet. His pants, not to mention his boxers, are around his ankles. On closer inspection, we see that he is reading a comprehensive treatise, complete with graphs and illustrations, on the scourge of constipation.}

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Wily Mo Pena Goes Crank-a-Doodle-Doo


That was Wily Mo Pena‘s second homer of the game, and it was a doozy. The stadium, at its deepest, is 400 feet. That homerball Apollo’d about 490 feet — or it would have if it didn’t first connect with what appears to be a sufficiently high light fixture (see 1:59).

What also makes me happy about this video: Not just seeing Wily Mo Pena alive and doing things, but seeing the twirly finger home run sign transcending all language barriers. You and I, English-speaking persons, can watch a Dominican (Spanish-speaking) hitter communicate with a Japanese-speaking umpire and all three parties (us, he, and them) can understand that scene. There’s something sparkling about it all.

Also, there’s something, I dunno, Thriller album cover about this:


Thanks to Yakyu Baka and Daily Sports on this.

Cowards Boo

Ohhh, it’s so easy to boo from the safety of your seat. But place yourself beside a one Mr. Robinson Cano, realize for yourself that he stands not tall enough to pinch his head while holding a beer, but in fact tall enough (six-foot) and big enough (muscley) to make for a more than formidable fistacuffs partner.

So boo while he can’t reach you with the bat; boo while he’s still a small man at a distance — because you’ll be telling your grandkids about the day you got to meet him and how down-to-earth he was and how you got to shake his strong hands. You’ll beat your boo-words into starstruck platitudes, and you’ll love it.

Video: MC Hammer Breaking Down Jace Peterson’s Swing

The world in which we live would be a decidedly less habitable one had certain great ideas not been pursued. Like the one Jonas Salk had for a polio vaccine, for example. Or the one Socrates had before that in terms of establishing the whole Western intellectual tradition.

Other ideas, had they been ignored entirely, would never have been missed.

Inserting footage of Jace Peterson‘s first major-league hit into the music video for MC Hammer’s 1990 hit single U Can’t Touch This belongs firmly to the latter category.

Minimal Effort Weblog Post: Video of Jace Peterson

San Diego shortstop prospect Jace Peterson, the object of no little attention within these electronic pages, has today been promoted to the majors to replace the injured Chase Headley there.

This object of the current post, which has required minimal effort, has been to embed the video above of Peterson making a catch two years ago and which the author only found by chance earlier today while scouring Twitter for mentions mostly of his own name.