Archive for NotGraphs Haiku

NotGraphs Haiku: The SkyDome Turns 25

skydome

She’s far from perfect.
Old now, but home. All we’ve got.
Happy birthday, babe.

This has been a NotGraphs Haiku, inspired by the cold and unflinching hands of death, which is coming for us all, even the SkyDome.

GIF credit: The Internet.


NotGraphs Haiku: McCarver and Buck

BuckMcCarverHigh5

Shut up. Please shut up.
I’m begging you. Shut the fuck
up for one second.

This has been a NotGraphs Haiku, written mostly out of frustration, because the commentary during the postseason makes the games borderline unwatchable.

High five to Internet scholar @cjzero for the GIF.


NotGraphs Haiku: Mariano Rivera

811362920

Baseball players come
and go. But there is only
one Mariano.

This has been an emotionally-written NotGraphs Haiku.

Thanks to @Cut4 for the GIF. It’s perfect.


NotGraphs Haiku: The Kansas City Royals

Maxwell

Late September and
the Royals are playing games
that matter. Fucked up.

This has been a Justin Maxwell-inspired NotGraphs Haiku.


NotGraphs Haiku: Yu Darvish and Trevor Plouffe

Darvish

Trevor Plouffe hit a
double against Yu Darvish
in his next at-bat.

This has been another NotGraphs Haiku. I’ll stop soon. Maybe. Probably.

Thanks to @lonestarball for the GIF, and to Darvish for the ridiculous hook.


NotGraphs Haiku: Matt Harvey

harvey buck

No. Not Matt Harvey.
Fuck. Fuck fuck fuck. Fuck! Fuck, fuck!
Me next, please, John Buck.

This has been a profanity-laced NotGraphs Haiku.

Thanks, @Cut4, for the heartbreaking GIF.


NotGraphs Haiku: Jason Heyward

There is nothing quite
like a Heyward diving catch
made while on the run.

This has been another poorly written NotGraphs Haiku.


NotGraphs Haiku: Yasiel Puig

I have lived two lives:
pre- and post-Yasiel Puig.
Post-Puig is better.

This has been a poorly written NotGraphs Haiku.

Because I can’t watch that GIF too many times. Thanks, @GDixon410.


NotGraphs Haiku: Uncle Charlie

Dear Uncle Charlie,
Twelve-to-six, or two-to-eight,
You’re my favorite.

This has been a NotGraphs Haiku.

And this was entirely an excuse to post the above GIF, for which all praise goes to @ChadMoriyama. And Uncle Charlie. And Clayton Kershaw.


NotGraphs Haiku: Raul Ibanez

ibanez forever

Raul Ibanez.
He gives and gives, yet asks for
Nothing in return.

This has been a NotGraphs Haiku.

And this was entirely an excuse to post the above GIF, for which all praise goes to @lonestarball. And Raul Ibanez.