Archive for Stupid Photo Essay

Will Matt Williams Tip Over?

BREAKING: Diamondbacks Release New Team Photo

Nationals Introduce New Precedent Race


In Which Photo is Bryce Harper’s Hip Barking?


This struck me as odd, as I don’t remember seeing Bryce Harper’s hips barking. Did I miss something? Let’s roll our little computer mice over the following images to find out!
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A-Rod’s Camp


What does this camp look like? An artist’s rendering*:



(*Much like you can do with Dayn Perry’s loins, click to enlarge)

Presidential First Pitch Scouting Report


Short-arms his follow through. Blocks his rotation a bit by keeping his glove hand in his pocket. Too fat.

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Ways Chris Carter Is and Is Not Like Pedro Cerano


This is the title of an empty note I made last night. I’m not sure why I wrote it, or what prompted it. I’m guessing a combination of Scotch whiskey and jet lag contributed, but I can’t quite put my finger on why I actually took the time to write it down, and what I thought I’d get from it. However, as small of a gift as it may be, I will not look it’s presenting horse in the mouth. The following are differences and similarities between Astros first baseman/outfielder/DH Chris Carter, and fictional baseball player Pedro Cerano.

(EDIT: Fine Internet User @KevinBassStache alerted me to the picture, which comes via CSN’s Julia Morales.)

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Oberholtzer’s Strike zone Plot and Bal.’s Subway® Restaurants

I, along with NotGraphs’ Mike Bates and SB Nation’s Bill Parker, am attending this year’s SABR convention in Philadelphia, PA. Before the official festivities kicked off, we spent a day in Baltimore, MD to catch an Astros/Orioles game. While walking around the fine city of Baltimore, we noticed that the town had a certain penchant for Subway restaurants. In short, downtown Baltimore has a shit-ton of them. We were unable to eat at any, so I can not give you a review. However, I can assume the meals would have been fresh, fit, or perhaps both.

Later that night, the Astros’ Brett Oberholtzer pitched a bit of a gem en route to a 11-0 routing of the Orioles — 7 IP, 3 H, 6 K, 0 R (1.22 FIP). This was particularly notable considering this was his first appearance in the major leagues as a starter.

This lead me to wonder — due mostly to a couple Natty Ohs Bohs and a considerable lack of sleep — what Oberholtzer’s strike zone plot would look like superimposed over a map of Baltimore’s Subway restaurants. The following is the (embiggenable) product:


I take slight umbrage with the Google Map, as I saw way more Subway restaurants walking around downtown. Nevertheless, it does seem as if Oberholtzer’s strike zone plot does have some slight correlation to Subway locations, mainly the Lombardi St., Market Pl., Pratt St., and N Wolfe St. locations. I am unsure what the r2 of this would be, as I would have no idea how to calculate that, and this is a stupid premise to begin with.

Thought Experiment: Air Bud, with Derek Jeter Instead of a Dog

The Barktown Barons were looking at yet another losing season.

Speedy! You’re going the wrong way!

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C.B. Bucknor Wins



(As Matt Hoeppner correctly points out, this was only strike two.)