Archive for The Concerns of Dr. Internet

Dr. Internet Invokes Spirit of Banknotes Harper

As should be apparent by now, “Dr. Internet” is not a specific person. Rather, it is any man who has decided he’s not going to take this shit anymore — “this shit” being the epicene objections of unmanly others on this our Internet.

Recently, a NotGraphs commenter by the nom de Internet of “TheReal” happened upon a Yasiel Puig post by Ham-Nuts Cistulli that, in the service of eroding civilization, celebrated one of Mr. Puig’s opposite-of-elusive bat-flips. TheReal took the necessary step of pointing out that this flourish would not play too well on the streets of fire whence he was forged. But then the lady-lads in his midst predictably took offense. Tired of conversing with his inferiors, TheReal took to the rhetorical top turnbuckle and landed this finishing move:

You Motherfuckers Just Got Roasted

At this point, you will recognize — in spirit if not in precise diction — the imprimatur and influence of one Banknotes Harper.

True, Banknotes Harper learned business because business wanted to be learned by Banknotes Harper, and the only use Banknotes Harper has for the higher-education asset bubble is the opportunity to make a sherpa’s load of billion-dollar bills via credit default swaps on the student loans of the working poor. Still, the timely wielding of the Business Pecker, whether it be by way of high marks in a possibly-credentialed MBA program or with stacks of redeemable bullion, is something that pleases Banknotes Harper.

And so when Dr. Internet wielded his Business Pecker in order to cow the dole-sucking hordes that deigned to afflict him, Banknotes Harper saw that it was good:

Bank. Notes. Har. Per.

Dr. Internet, you may just have a shot at being an intern to the intern of Banknotes Harper’s interns’ interns.

Essence of Twitter Embodied by Single Tweet

On Thursday, Twitter lurched to a halt and then sloughed off into the murky fathoms of the sea when a single tweet embodied the entire essence of the very medium of which it was believed to be but an infinitesimal sliver. This is that tweet:

And this is the Internet.