Chance Ruffin: Pitcher or Hyper-Realistic Thumb Puppet?

Regarding Chance Ruffin, who was recently designated for assignment by the foul-smelling Mariners, we are faced with two possibilities insofar as his soul, essence and factory settings are concerned. The first is that, as put forth by Chance Ruffin stakeholders and as is widely believed, he is a simple pitcher absorbed by his craft. Witness this action-news photograph providing evidence to that end:

Chance Ruffin is a pitcher, no?

Seems plausible. But now comes the following image, which suggests that, no, Chance Ruffin is — actually and in actuality — a hyper-realistic thumb puppet:

Ah, yes: It seems Chance Ruffin is a thumb puppet

That, mute onlookers, is unassailably a thumb puppet. Note that absence of any real slope from head to neck, which is indicative of both thumb-ness and thumb-dom. Also note the wee size. Furthermore, note that the adorable little thumb-beard conveniently obscures the first joint just below the thumb pad. Now imagine his doing a cute and wiggly bow toward you, hinging at that beard-hidden joint, as Chance Ruffin, Thumb Puppet Nonpareil, entertains all who have repaired to the parlor. Wiggle, wiggle. Tee hee. His little cap fell off!

Chance Ruffin, you see, is a hyper-realistic thumb puppet.

(HT: @theiri)




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Handsome Dayn Perry can be found making love to the reader at CBSSports.com's Eye on Baseball. He is available for all your Twitter needs.


6 Responses to “Chance Ruffin: Pitcher or Hyper-Realistic Thumb Puppet?”

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  1. A eskpert says:

    Dayn Motherfucking Perry, ladies and Gentlemen. Where can one buy thumb razors, also?

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  2. David Well's Gout says:

    Uncanny resemblance. Another might be a legoman.

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  3. stockhfcrx says:

    Is that picture actual size? Or does it depend on ones choice of medium used for viewing?

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  4. Yirmiyahu says:

    Oh, Dayn. You made me laugh out loud at work.

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  5. The Confederate Dance Troupe says:

    Mariners are the worst.

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  6. jb says:

    The real question is, who operates the puppet when he is pitching?

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