Updated: Chapman Struck in Face by One-Liner

UPDATE: Yeah, too soon.

Aroldis Chapman is not super-seriously hurt and will likely return to the field this season–perhaps as soon as May. This is great! Baseball and all human people are better off with him being not seriously hurt. This news also allows guilt-free enjoyment of the following low-quality GIF: Noted deadpan master Steven Wright striking Chapman in the face with a one-liner.

tasteless


Also, congratulations to Nathan Shields, whose comment on my last post garnered the most +1’s from readers, and to Mr. Observant, whose comment–the first comment–I found to be most humorous. Let us tell them nice things, like “cool shoes” and “you are more precious to me than fine, Indian spices.”




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Zach is an egregious malcontent whose life goal is to literally become the London Tube. @itszachreynolds.


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John Paschal
Member
2 years 5 months ago

Well, when he returns from the DL, he’d better cover his face again when I let loose with my best one-liner: “Does this rag smell like chloroform to you?”

Harper Hill
Guest
Harper Hill
2 years 5 months ago

Too soon.

triple-A city
Guest
triple-A city
2 years 5 months ago

Yeah this is really fucking tasteless. The next line drive might kill a man, but Aroldis only had to go through agony on the mound and reconstructive skull surgery. By some miraculous coinflip we’re planning on his return and not his funeral, so everything’s fine let’s joke about it. You’re just so cool, Zach Reynolds.

dang
Guest
dang
2 years 5 months ago

“…Rectum? Damn near killed ’em!”

Joe D.
Guest
Joe D.
2 years 5 months ago

I gotta agree this really is tasteless. It seemed like a good idea when I made it, but now that I think about it, a water sandwich on whole wheat was a terrible thought. No taste at all.

Now, to the topic at hand (ie. that of this Zach Reynolds post)…this made me giggle and guffaw. Thank you Zach. May I suggest an ongoing series dedicated specifically to those with no sense of humor? I’d like to see Chapman struck in the face with the following:

* eye liner
* airliner
* ocean liner
* acoustic liner
* a Low-ionization nuclear emission-line region

Thank you in advance,
Joe D.

TK
Guest
TK
2 years 5 months ago

“Back then, we didn’t care what anyone thought and the chicks found that irresistible.”

Mike Green
Guest
Mike Green
2 years 5 months ago

May I humbly suggest “The Aristocrats” instead, Zach? If it helped Gilbert Gottfried over an early 9-11 joke, it can work for you too. “Jeter, Biel and Timberlake were in a hot tub and they turned the 6-4-3…”

Mr. Observant
Guest
Mr. Observant
2 years 5 months ago

Merci Beacoup for the mention. Bangor? Sheesh, your honour, I didn’t even kiss her!

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