Charlie Blackmon in a Tiger Shirt and Your Memories

When I look at a child, I see the future. When I look at my wife, I see the woman with whom I’ll be spending the rest of my life. And, increasingly, whenever I look at Charlie Blackmon, I see everyone I was friends with in college.

The image to the left — of Charlie Blackmon wearing a vest and wearing a tiger shirt and eating what appears to be some kind of delicious burrito — has provoked merely the latest in a series of small epiphanies regarding how the Rockies outfielder is actually probably just one of my roommates from college with whom I’ve lost touch.

To the photo, he appends this confident-sounding tweet:

what’s better than a tiger? A Siberian tiger. What’s better than a Siberian tiger? Four of them on my awesome shirt!

And what I believe is a student film made by Blackmon and this other guy with whom we roomed.

Truffle Shuffle in honor of reader Paul, who brought the above tweet to the author’s attention.



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Carson Cistulli has just published a book of aphorisms called Spirited Ejaculations of a New Enthusiast.


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Yirmiyahu
Member
Yirmiyahu

Look carefully, Carson.

That can’t be a burrito. He’s got Heinz ketchup smeared on there. Also appears to have a cup full of french fries.

glassSheets
Guest
glassSheets

Maybe Carson’s friends ate burritos which are like a burger basket, only in burrito form.. Ground up hamburger, with cheese, ketchup, mustard, lettuce, secret stadium sauce, fries, etc.

Resolution
Guest
Resolution

Burger Burrito!!! Yo, that has to come to reality, pronto. If I were a venture capitalist I would give all the money to this.

Re: Carson’s truffle shuffle,

Thank you,

Paul

GoldenFrank
Guest
GoldenFrank

This would be called a wrap.

glassSheets
Guest
glassSheets

A creative venture capitalist would call it a burger burrito and sell them for 8 – not 7.95 because a clean “8” is classy – while charging an extra 0.75 for bacon and 1.00 for guacamole.

Also, a creative venture capitalist would make everything half priced for pregnant women and moustachioed men … and double for moustachioed women.

Resolution
Guest
Resolution

@ glassSheets

You’re the next Michael Porter.

TartanElk
Guest
TartanElk

Using my fairly advanced food identifying skills, my best guess is that he’s eating Five Guys.

dutchbrowncoat
Guest
dutchbrowncoat

seconded

Yirmiyahu
Member
Yirmiyahu

Thirdeded.

CSI: Food.

glassSheets
Guest
glassSheets

The non wood seating in the background, the wax paper underneath the tin foil, the style of ketchup packet, and the inside of the fry cup being free of cajun seasoning flakes make me think you are wrong.

Also, even though it is hard to tell for sure, I do not believe the wall in the background is the white and red tile standard for a Five Guys.

glassSheets
Guest
glassSheets

I am going to preemptively state I indeed went to Five Guys for lunch today and looked for all these things to add validity to my comment.

Yirmiyahu
Member
Yirmiyahu

Did you order a Burrito Burger?

glassSheets
Guest
glassSheets

I tried, but Luis the cashier informed me they don’t have a Burger Burrito.

CistulliFan
Guest
CistulliFan

Actually it was a cheese steak.

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