Charlie Blackmon Info: Charlie Blackmon Homered Today

What the reader might not know — but is certainly going to find out following the completion of this unnecessary em-dashed aside — is that, among the categories to which NotGraphs authors can assign their posts, there’s one called Charlie Blackmon Info.

“Why is there a category called Charlie Blackmon Info?” a reader might ask — nor does the author have any intention of discouraging the reader’s natural curiosity. Still, asking that question, one might as well also ask, “How do you hold a moonbeam in your hand?” Or: “How, after managing to get a moonbeam into your hand, do you make sex to it?”

Some questions, in other words, are unable to be answered — or, at the very least, unable to be answered without the aid of a harrowing diagram.

In any case, the purpose of this particular edition of Charlie Blackmon Info is to alert the entire world that (a) in his third plate appearance of the season, recently promoted Colorado outfield Charlie Blackmon homered and that (b) the author has commemorated Blackmon’s home run in American GIF form, with the caveat that (c) the video quality of the GIF isn’t particularly great, because (d) the author’s modem is working poorly, even though (e) the author’s wife has repeatedly reminded him to call for repair, while (f) the author has secretly prayed in his heart for the problem to resolve itself.

All of which is to say:

Blackmon HR 2




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Carson Cistulli has just published a book of aphorisms called Spirited Ejaculations of a New Enthusiast.


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The Return of Rambo Diaz
Guest
The Return of Rambo Diaz

Now that’s what I call a high-quality, Union-made, American GIF. Not one of those crap foreign GIFs like you get on those discount sites.

Simon
Guest
Simon

What the reader might also not know — but is certainly going to find out following the completion of this —dashed aside — is that, among the aforementioned categories, there exists one entitled “Cistulli. F__k that guy.”

Simon
Guest
Simon

Did you know that in FanGraphs comments two hyphens are replaced by an em dash, thus substantially reducing the perceived wit of the authors of said comments?

Z
Guest
Z

.—- —— –. –.. . .–. ..–. ..– .–..

Resolution
Guest
Resolution

ZIPS rest of season forecast for Blackmon: .325/.450/.540 with 21 stolen bases…probably.

AlexandertheMeh
Member
AlexandertheMeh

Love the gif. Of course due to the blur it is somewhat difficult to verify the Charlie Blackmoness of the batter. It is either him…or anyone on COPS.

MLB Rainmaker
Member
Member
MLB Rainmaker

Unfunny aside — that was a breaking pitch off a lefty…not a bad piece of hitting…

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