China Employs Secret Market Inefficiency

The world is still trembling, one imagines, at the scientific discovery the present author made on these very pages on June 6, 2011. In said article, the illustration in which I reproduce here because you are assumedly too lazy to click a link, it was established that the offensive performance of a baseball player was correlated with the length of his last name.

bar2

The Chinese Baseball Club of China has taken this inefficiency to heart and elevated it to heretofore unheard of letter-to-name ratios. For a recent but specifically unspecific WBC contest, they wielded the following starting lineup:

ChinaDefense

With only twenty-five letters divided between nine names, China is seated firmly toward the left-hand side of the original graph, also known as the “good” side. And with three players sporting two-letter last names, there’s the potential for an exponential increase in performance. Of course, this can only end in one fashion: some day, one nation or another will develop the technology to create a truly nameless athlete, whose infinite wRC+ will irrevocably destroy the game of baseball. Countermeasures, in which teams employ ridiculously long last names for pitchers, will ultimately fail due to jersey logistics.

In the meantime, enjoy the game while you can.

Hat tip to Monsieur Zimmerman for the television screen capture.




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Patrick Dubuque is a wastrel and a general layabout. Many of the sites he has written for are now dead. Follow him on Twitter @euqubud.


Sort by:   newest | oldest | most voted
Choo
Member
3 years 4 months ago

Well, Saltalamacchia’s got some fucking work to do.

Mindhead3
Member
Mindhead3
3 years 4 months ago

Chu’s on first?

shibboleth
Guest
shibboleth
3 years 4 months ago

An Li’s on second.

Tommen
Guest
Tommen
3 years 4 months ago

ESPN Desportes joke

Patrick Samuel Deduno
Guest
Patrick Samuel Deduno
3 years 4 months ago

USA has got some work to do.
How about…
C Jose Mauer
1B Ike Davis
2B Aaron Hill
SS JJ Hardy
3B David Wright
LF Ryan Braun
CF Jon Jay
RF Matt Kemp
P Cliff Lee

Kevin
Guest
Kevin
3 years 4 months ago

I’m a big Jose Mauer Fan.

nuddles
Guest
nuddles
3 years 4 months ago

Fuckin’ Chang, with his long-ass name and only one sill-abel.

Brett Gardner
Guest
Brett Gardner
3 years 4 months ago

wang, catcher… surely there’s a joke there, right?

KM
Guest
KM
3 years 4 months ago

Last year’s Wang-Dickey matchup lit up my twitter feed for days…

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