Chinese Postgame Quotes: 2014 Preview Edition


By popular, if relatively subtle, demand, one of your favorite NotGraphs features is back — and rebooted! — for the 2014 season. For our opener this year, instead of giving you postgame quotes per se, we’ll be giving you pregame — and thus, pre-season — quotes from yesterday’s contests. Also, because we like to more broadly distribute our cultural tastelessness, we will no longer be simply translating into Chinese. Instead, we’ve devised a new and highly proprietary translation formula that also involves Indonesian, Nepali, Yoruba, and Hausa, and is expertly honed to yield the reveal the truest and purest kernels of meaning nestled within each sound bite. Without further ado:

Kansas City Kingdoms vs. Detroit Jaguars

“My first day, in a match on the opening day will be the first time, these ideas. To Detroit, disappeared before we play, the field will know that one of the most energy, the first day there, I’m sure it would be very appropriate, then, if you do not know that you see me.” – Brad Ausmus

“We are beaten, you are, this is a Jaguar, each time in the city, such as voice, or we go there. They, we, you. Challenge is the need to go to a victory party arrived, we say.” – Eric Mo Hawes

“You’re in a fun, but we all-star game Baseball instead of waiting began to break, so it must be the first day. I believe that the nature of the person has a good team behind again, and this year, you know everyone.” – Aaron Crow Pharmacy

NOTES: Outfielder Andy Dirks, shortstop Jose Iglesias and pitcher Bruce Long Dong is strenuous…Second baseman Ian Kinsler New – Best for batting – a movie from German Prince Phil Texas this offseason to go to work…They also signed right field and bat second baseman Omar Infante open and play from the sale rabbi Delin Aoki.

Chicago Lions vs. Pittsburgh Thieves

“I paste it in the U.S., the focus has increased that much confidence and feel good. This man was very pleasant and, rarely, this part of the sequence, a special combination.” – Clint Train

“They know what to do to get there, they want them. Not so easy meals, minor damage to either or appropriate steps.” – Clint Train

“We will adhere to the good conscience. Not all that great for this season.” – Jason Hammel

NOTES: Families will speed up short. Do you want to talk to God and you are happy. Finally, the last 21 years began to heal wounds arrogant. But you worry magical summer…Optimistic operations: they are trying to prove temporary and success in 2013, they let you work with the best generation, noble thing…Golders, the year 2013 will be the subject system, the barrier manager.

Washington Nationals vs. New York Metros

“You’re a little old. I really appreciate this opportunity, but I sports personality, you say: What’s in the early 30’s, I hope to start this year, but in the future to be the right person.” – Dillon Gee

“I believe everyone in the weather, I consider it to be a good year for us.” – Stephen Strasbourg

“As game as a drug. They do not have a bridge, walk.” – Stephen Strasbourg

NOTES: Pruning Stadium for the first time you do not want to talk, but a difference. All hell – elbow reconstruction surgery and general manager of Matthew Harvey left-hander Jonathan NIESE recovery Triceps and elbow problems, he has m, and called back, “water-based training.”…Soon, the people in the Playoffs after losing 86-76 in 2012 in Stow-class division and beat 98 minutes. More recently, they re-sent the World…In the last four months of the season on the right of brave men 2.71 times, that after nearly a year in the rotation to 12-11 with 3.62 times. She is warm words of four hitless innings in a rocket launch this summer, he said, time 1:08…Warranty repairs.

Philadelphia Phillies vs. Texas Wanderers

“I heard the statistic, I, we, you are entitled to.” – Tanner Scheppers

“It is not easy to rock…It’s hard to be such a challenge. I think.” – Ron Washington

“I know the importance of this issue. We and our energy problems will make your day.” – Ryne Sandberg

NOTES: Years, states Al Cy Young award-winning series trip to Philadelphia and months before the United Nations and the Cleveland Cavaliers lost to Texas on opening day you say…The Phillies (73-89) 2008 World Series Championship team, led the Corps to assist the elderly, from the first in 2014, 2002 and last year, through suffering…Significant changes in the list, and Shen Qiu Zhu De prohibit third major prize is about batting and Prince Phil…Adonis, the All-Star second baseman Ian Kinsler and sent many in Detroit, the first house-bats game on Thursday night, the support of a great advantage.

Atlanta Warriors vs. Milwaukee Beer

“We hope this is more than a little severe threat. Plant less water. But what Mother Nature will be ready to open all day.” – Michael Boettcher

“As’m full. It is. Lawn We want to play very, very hard with the hopes of trying to make you jump, the family is the most stable, great, but it seems to sound great from there.” – Logan Schafer

“There are attempts to happiness. We run a lot you can bring with you is where I am.” – Ron Roenicke

“We got to the road. Others Akobaratan. I am saying is that the better team.” – Fredi Gonzalez

NOTES: The Kansas City Royals in a new location at the end of the week to help build two matches infertile. Same with the players…The group plans to allow the ball to grow even colder. I set out this month to receive the goods at the moment…Ryan Braun should talk left and right to worry about how to change a little local currency…Freddy Freeman and Justin Upton, the Warriors from east to fight the enemies and competitors must register workers.

Boston Sox vs. Baltimore Orioles

“162 was announced at the end of the game. Why not throw a good opening day of the talks, I do not know.” – Baltimore manager Walter Xiao

“I have two ranges – one and one without it.” – Walter Xiao

“Research opportunity to see the original list, this is a good test for us will be a lot of doors.” – John Farrell

“As part of the Jezreel nine former one. This is a big thing with the club you are trying to make them be the best white. To do a lot of damage.” – John Leicester

NOTES: Remember the 2013 Playoffs, the Orioles for arrays (85-77) is the barometer. See, Camden yards, Baltimore Sellout crowds filled the champion shield in the stack…Score this weak Wing Shane Victorino also likely to start losing it…Orioles scoff at the notion that Salmonella can beat the champion.

St. Louis Specials vs. Cincinnati Red Army

“The opening is the league, but there are other people like.” – Billy Hamilton

“As we had some bad luck. Common, which is a party to the agreement, I think we’re a bunch of tough, and I want to be among those with ideas when and where we can.” – Joey Votto

“We confirm that we know nine grow. Likely that many of the players to have their health, sex.” – Bryan Price

“You see people who are completely different from throwing. I do not know if you can not, because now you are ready for it.” – Mike Matheny

NOTES: Do not wait for sentence structure, competent repair time. Every year on the importance of the Red Army from the first ball, you can start the game – they announced the first intersection, turn right…In the morning you will pay with the need to protect the champion Johnny Cueto, Manchester United GM…It is a good source of water Cincinnati.

Minnesota Timberwolves vs. Chicago White Sacrifice

“I wanted to like this. This is not part of the template here …. There are easy to play. Effect when the search system and not a human, too.” – Paul Konerko

“I know you must be there, he said. He did this, he was through, the group is in it, and I went, and I work for you, you say.” – Chris Sale

“Was very impressed. We left the field with information from an iceberg and all that …. but we know that Roger is red.” – Robin Ventura

NOTES: White sacrificed after a 63-99 season in 1970, was poor. They had five years and $ 68 million to provide players and signed with Cuban slugger Jose Abreu, debuted with the opening of the wishlist…The third member of the conference, and is only open between 1993 and the first day of the two victims faced White Nolasco started the first ad…On the same line as the new player Konerko’s role is very important that batsmen.

Toronto BlueBirds vs. Tampa Bay Bone Age

“I am the (spring training) is the word to describe, you dwell. We nitura, one, I think, a different heart. Feel this year Guy was great for us, and the end of the season with a 4.21 14-13.” – R.A. Dickey

“Families, asking a lot of this year, a beautiful daughter – all health …. We put.” – R.A. Dickey

“Together, I am more than a year ago, we expect this season to get some – because of the World and the United States not only appeal offers some good money and so on, so, once again, a shadow.” – Evan Longoria

NOTES: Dickey, water-based, two years ago with the Cy Young award as Metsu hope to return to help visualization…Ervin Santana in the hope of improving performance in Toronto about the gifts of the past, but right-hander was contracted to work for the party…Because they do not believe the part, often big money Yankees, and former Sox complicated, both brought abuse.

U.S. Rocky Mountains vs. Miami Marlins

“I have a good pitcher, or a team, my. We all said the President, I would like to see this is a problem, but I’m small, and I watch it, it’s hard to do, and I always joke. Stupid.” – Jose Fernandez

“Flatten it, in April, .500 I can kill. You can not guarantee results, but can not guarantee that you click the bat cave is all that you can feel comfortable to color once, I’m ready to go.” – Michael Cuddyer

“Frantic. Pitching mound, very alive, I’m good. Their body language and thought of everything, and the impact of many of you, and be great.” – Walt Weiss

“He has drive, focus still. The players and the riders and enthusiasm, you kill Charts sure. Truth and hunger. Know how important it is to make music again.” – Mike Redmond

NOTES: Always even when he does not throw, and he led the athletes. Cheers designed Joker Jose Fernandez, hot deals to accept defeat…Protect his rookie year, starting the first day of grammar is in the open, and in the top 21, you can create a home for the Prince…In 1996, they rested in the first session, first baseman Todd Little Caesars, has not yet begun…Instead of severity, this time we are looking forward to. How much money are you okay?

San Francisco Others vs. Arizona Venomous Snakes

“Bad taste in the mouth is not all.” – Posey Friends

“We should go. It’s a bat and a great trip for us, will be.” – Bruce Bochy

“We’ve had two games under my belt, but the legendary game, always good club us hard. McCarthy will find games, edanarlaina flows and expectations.” – Kevin Towers

NOTES: San Francisco should be required to run – angel countries suffer from back pain during spring training and outfielder…McCarthy, the staff tried to give the Spaniard is 5-11 with a 4.53 times, but the strong first aid. You start with the second one was home…Bochy drunk, from Sydney do not expect any rattlesnakes.

Seattle Sailors vs. Woodside, California Angels

“This is really the heart is known, is reasonable, and willing to work.” – Jered Weaver

“He is a great player, but the game on easy, so, you will see some of the best teams. It was a bit surprised to see him go to Seattle, and if you do, you will be a good team, the challenge is a little more than the last part of the West, it will be more difficult than the more limited division of labor and sailors.” – Jered Weaver

“We had a good start. The last two years, from the hot water and ready to find a way, I always said to myself well, and all the weather, the time or the energy of some the first week.” – Mike Fish

NOTES: Mike began to fish once in six months is the most important time…April in the last two years were the worst in all this when the angel left a great fisherman, and fish can not return all the way…Scioscia with open opposition to such information instead chose sailor, from the power of the region, the angels brushed off questions about the order and product. Seattle is expected to increase, and the rich and powerful after eating, you pay the ears, Yankees star and five-time All-Star after.

Cleveland India vs. Auckland Alphonse

“I am very honored to have an advantage, but at the same time, I hope to get out. It will be an interesting day.” – Sonny Gray

“Ah, this is the third time I can do and that is, when I take this property, if you have a child in the last minute. The last two years trying to transfer the workers, it is likely to go out, and you are the President set the tone and strong, a good example.” – Justin Masterson

“This is a very human nails lightly, and if you want to go out, and the problem of the game. That is, that you are right, you can not force, not the people, they are hard to call, bullpen, and I’ll Quote (Young) is very easy to do, which is the right person and is always up and the pressure is not surprising that the 1st, sound, or it does not.” – Bob Melvin

NOTES: Yes, Sonny Gray General Motors in Detroit last January and Pitcher Justin Verlander must contend he should get good results…Not having integral part of Gray, also: grandmother, aunts and uncles, cousins, mother and stepfather, sister and two friends back home in Tennessee…Gray should be the team, he is learning Pitcher was arrested last fall.

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21 Responses to “Chinese Postgame Quotes: 2014 Preview Edition”

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  1. tz says:

    I feel like I just read the instructions to that “build-it-yourself” table I bought over at Walmart.

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  2. AC of DC says:

    I am torn as to the nugget of greatest wisdom — between the profundity of Eric Mo Hawes’ poetry and the aphoristic simplicity regarding riches and paying the ears . . . but then I alight upon the line that sums it all up: “Do not wait for sentence structure, competent repair time.” Here is truth.

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  3. agam22 says:

    Bruce Long Dong is so streneous. Also, I think Aaron Crow is on and/or supplying PEDs

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  4. MrKnowNothing says:

    You guys are gonna get boycotted so hard on twitter…

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  5. Expat English Teacher in Dongguan, Which is in China says:

    Now I know where my students went on that “internship”…

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  6. jruby says:

    “The Phillies (73-89) 2008 World Series Championship team, led the Corps to assist the elderly, from the first in 2014, 2002 and last year, through suffering…”

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    • tz says:

      “I know the importance of this issue. We and our energy problems will make your day.” – Ryne Sandberg

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  7. Mr. Observant says:

    你昨天借给我的那本书很有趣. 为什么我不能写这个有趣的事情。我错过了休赛期的战斗 – 蓝鸟与马林鱼。Also, listening to Rogers Sportsnet Blue Jays broadcasts it often sounds eerily similar to the Engrish of R.A., a man to whom I ascribed more eloquence.

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  8. Dan Gladden says:

    “We Put”- RA Dickey

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  9. JimmyD says:

    “I have two ranges – one and one without it.” – Walter Xiao

    Truer words have never been spoken.

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  10. JimmyD says:

    “We expect this season to get some”
    Hopefully Longoria & the Bone Ages end their dry spell.

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  11. tz says:

    I’m bookmarking this for a Saturday read. Too much goodness to mine through.

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  12. let's try this ourselves says:

    If you have been transmitted through the plan, one of the characteristics of an impostor, the history of your favorite NotGraphs – Re. – 2014. Therefore, pre – season – our first game this year, rather than after the game, we will give you a higher competition yesterday. We have a wide distribution of our culture and m, because he wanted to know, we are now translated into English. In the alternative, if we, but also Indonesia, Nepal, the Yoruba, Hausa, and very important to set out a new revolution, and experts in the former sound insect any of the nut in fact honed. Spur:

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  13. Well-Beered Englishman says:

    “The Kansas City Royals in a new location at the end of the week to help build two matches infertile. Same with the players…”


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    • tz says:

      “…The group plans to allow the ball to grow even colder. I set out this month to receive the goods at the moment…”

      Sounds like the writer is taking it upon himself to make this succeed.

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  14. reillocity says:

    “Orioles scoff at the notion that Salmonella can beat the champion.”

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  15. Matt says:

    Auckland Alphonse: great team name or greatest team name?

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  16. tz says:

    ““I know you must be there, he said. He did this, he was through, the group is in it, and I went, and I work for you, you say.” – Chris Sale”

    Uncanny how much this reminds me of Hawk Harrelson.

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