Classic F__king Brawls: Armando Benitez vs. Everybody

Back in May of 1998, when this unassailable act of prophecy was likely being written, The Orioles and Yankees decided that soup-bones and not bats, balls and gloves would be the determinative instruments of most glorious abandon for God and Country.

First, Armando Benitez, gentleman wildcat, presents us with the casus belli

Benitez de Salvo

Tensions scale tense heights, but a young and coiffed Derek Jeter’s puzzled visage suggests he’s confused as to why they can’t just settle what must settled in the crucible of competitive humping …

Let's have sex with ladies

Soon enough, though, the offending Mr. Benitez gets shit-choked by the wispy spectral presence of Graeme Lloyd …

Maximum Ghost Choke

And then actual, corporeal Graeme Lloyd engages Benitez in a round of unsanctioned Bronx Maximus Slap-Chop …

Bronx Maximus Slap-Chop

Which leads to Darryl Strawberry’s making what is widely known in proper quarters as an Irish Business Decision …

Irish Business Decision

Finally and most grimly, David Cone, to his mounting horror, surveys the Confederate dead …

God Almighty Damn

File under: Classic F__king Brawls.



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Handsome Dayn Perry can be found making love to the reader at CBSSports.com's Eye on Baseball. He is available for all your Twitter needs.


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CasKnowsRoto
Guest

I’ve never seen so many non landed punches/bitch slaps. Epic? I think so.

Urban Shocker
Guest
Urban Shocker

And *this* is why I said I like Classic F__king Brawls better than Bat Flips.
F__k and yes.

AlexandertheMeh
Member
AlexandertheMeh

What did I learn here today? That it is very, very difficult to say the phrase “Irish Business Decision” aloud before one has had their morning caffeinated beverage of choice.

Tim
Guest
Tim

You may be interested in the fact that it is possible to read without saying the words out loud.

Menthol
Member
Member
Menthol

Always loved Straw, but that was a sucker punch. Not cool.

Swedish Godzilla
Guest

well yeah, if you don’t see a 6’6″ man coming at you to swing, then you are a sucker.

Marty
Guest
Marty

Favorite NotGraphs category. By a wide margin. Well done.

GloboJim
Guest
GloboJim

Saw it live 20 rows behind the yankees on deck circle, told people for years about Daryl flying over the pile by the visiting dugout to assassinate Benitez… Thanks for posting!

Toasty
Member

Glad to see my favorite Australian LOOGY featured.

Jim Khoury
Member
Jim Khoury

It looks like Benitez was trying to protect his hands but he just broke his dignity instead.

Guy
Guest
Guy

Everything in life is settled by the crucible of competitive humping.

Alex W
Guest
Alex W

Didn’t Alan Mills or Arthur Rhodes destroy someone during this fight?

rlc
Guest
rlc

Alan Mills showed Strawberry how sucker punchers are dealt with.

reillocity
Guest
reillocity

I love the passing glimpses of semirecognizable players in these GIFs.

#4 is my favorite. Lloyd flails aimlessly away at Benitez as his warmup jacket falls off. Jeff Nelson makes a run at landing a haymaker right on Benitez but only finds air as he passes between Lloyd and Benitez. Chris Hoiles smartly hasn’t yet bothered to remove his mask and tackles Mike Stanton, at least the 3rd Yankees reliever in on the fracas. And momentarily you can spot tons of other players including Harold Baines, Joe Carter, Chad Curtis (bad haircut), Scott Brosius, Jimmy Key (Orioles version), Scott Erickson, …

Maverick Squad
Guest
Maverick Squad

“Chris Hoiles smartly hasn’t yet bothered to remove his mask and tackles Mike Stanton”
I think you mean Giancarlo Stanton.

Mike Newman
Member

I have a Montreal Expos BP jacket worn by Lloyd in my closet. It was a give from a Canadian (Lloyd) to another Canadian (Some dude I coached with way back when) to an American (Cheeseburger eating me).

Jim Khoury
Member
Jim Khoury

Also, David Cone’s face is priceless.

Macaulay C.
Guest
Macaulay C.

This is not what I expected when I clicked an article titled “Classic F__king Brawls”.

JimmyD
Guest
JimmyD

Jeter looks a little “Jersey Shore” in the 2nd GIF

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