These are dark times. Like, actually, measurably dark because the northern hemisphere is tilted away from the sun. These are also dark times for the baseball-loving soul. You don’t need to be reminded of this; it consumes us. January is horrible.
In these times it is important to find ways to demonstrate to the darkness that you’ve still got it. It being aplomb, braggadocio, spunk, and measurable levels of responsibly supplemented Vitamin D3. You’ve also got to demonstrate to yourself, kind reader, that you’ve got it, otherwise the mire of life sans base-and-ball sports will overcome you from the inside. One way to do this is to remember better times, and if possible, remember better times that involve both baseball and accidental allusions to celebratory sodomy.
Allow me to remind you of this moment with Matt Stairs, wherein Mr. Stairs uses what Ken Tremendous calls “unfortunate phraseology:”
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