Clown Questions

H/T to Bryce Harper.

Q: How does one become a circus clown?
A: Clown school.

Q: Why are so many people afraid of clowns?
A: Coulrophobes are quite common, but there isn’t any clear data. Several theories exist, including: the childhood trauma of first seeing/meeting a clown and not knowing what is going on, the fact that their human emotions are obscured and impossible to read, and/or the “scary clown” theme in movies and fiction.

Q: Who are some famous people who are afraid of clowns?
A: P. Diddy has a no-clown clause in his contracts. Other famous coulrophobes include: Johnny Depp, Carol Burnett, and Anthony Bourdain.

Q: How does the “clown car” trick work?
A: There is no trick.

Q: How much money do clowns make?
A: Circus clowns make an average of 38,000 according to the internets in 2010.

Q: Why arn’t you allowed to incinerate clowns?
A: They burn funny.



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Summer Anne Burton is a writer and illustrator living in Austin, Texas. She is drawing pictures of Every Hall of Famer.


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Chris in Hawaii
Guest
Chris in Hawaii

I still really wish he would have called the guy Bozo instead of Bro.

Well-Beered Englishman
Guest
Well-Beered Englishman

Also phobic: the guy in Zombieland.

john wick
Guest

Running your vehicle’s air conditioning is no worse for your gas mileage than driving with your windows down. As your vehicle speeds up, air flow creates a drag against the vehicle, making the engine work harder and hurting gas mileage. In fact, air conditioning can be a more efficient option at higher speeds.

PG
Guest
PG

I have to say…. I don’t quite understand what’s really that funny about the “clown question” thing. I mean, yeah, it was a silly question. But Harper just sounds like a douche. Maybe it’s just me, but hey.

bada bing
Guest
bada bing

Fail.

Nate
Guest
Nate

I wonder what a “no clown clause” looks like…

Nate
Guest
Nate

Oh, and the bestest clown commercial…
Here

Bill
Guest
Bill

Mascots kind of freak me out. They just seem so shady with their sewn on smiles. They really make me uneasy. Not the Phanatic though. Maybe it’s because he doesn’t have a mouth. If a clown didn’t have a mouth I think it would make them more scary and not less. Even the thought of that kind of puts me on edge.

Antonio Bananas
Guest
Antonio Bananas

Funniest shit ever is when they get hurt. Looks like they’re still smiling despite the person inside writhing around in pain. There’s a vid of a moose or something falling off a four wheeler and twisting his ankle Moises Alou style. Just lays there in pain for way too long before people stopped laughing and realized he was hurt. Love it.

john wick
Guest

Running your vehicle’s air conditioning is no worse for your gas mileage than driving with your windows down. As your vehicle speeds up, air flow creates a drag against the vehicle, making the engine work harder and hurting gas mileage. In fact, air conditioning can be a more efficient option at higher speeds.

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