Clown Questions

H/T to Bryce Harper.

Q: How does one become a circus clown?
A: Clown school.

Q: Why are so many people afraid of clowns?
A: Coulrophobes are quite common, but there isn’t any clear data. Several theories exist, including: the childhood trauma of first seeing/meeting a clown and not knowing what is going on, the fact that their human emotions are obscured and impossible to read, and/or the “scary clown” theme in movies and fiction.

Q: Who are some famous people who are afraid of clowns?
A: P. Diddy has a no-clown clause in his contracts. Other famous coulrophobes include: Johnny Depp, Carol Burnett, and Anthony Bourdain.

Q: How does the “clown car” trick work?
A: There is no trick.

Q: How much money do clowns make?
A: Circus clowns make an average of 38,000 according to the internets in 2010.

Q: Why arn’t you allowed to incinerate clowns?
A: They burn funny.

Print This Post

Summer Anne Burton is a writer and illustrator living in Austin, Texas. She is drawing pictures of Every Hall of Famer.

8 Responses to “Clown Questions”

You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed.
  1. Chris in Hawaii says:

    I still really wish he would have called the guy Bozo instead of Bro.

    Vote -1 Vote +1

  2. Well-Beered Englishman says:

    Also phobic: the guy in Zombieland.

    Vote -1 Vote +1

  3. PG says:

    I have to say…. I don’t quite understand what’s really that funny about the “clown question” thing. I mean, yeah, it was a silly question. But Harper just sounds like a douche. Maybe it’s just me, but hey.

    Vote -1 Vote +1

  4. Nate says:

    I wonder what a “no clown clause” looks like…

    Vote -1 Vote +1

  5. Nate says:

    Oh, and the bestest clown commercial…

    Vote -1 Vote +1

  6. Bill says:

    Mascots kind of freak me out. They just seem so shady with their sewn on smiles. They really make me uneasy. Not the Phanatic though. Maybe it’s because he doesn’t have a mouth. If a clown didn’t have a mouth I think it would make them more scary and not less. Even the thought of that kind of puts me on edge.

    Vote -1 Vote +1

    • Antonio Bananas says:

      Funniest shit ever is when they get hurt. Looks like they’re still smiling despite the person inside writhing around in pain. There’s a vid of a moose or something falling off a four wheeler and twisting his ankle Moises Alou style. Just lays there in pain for way too long before people stopped laughing and realized he was hurt. Love it.

      Vote -1 Vote +1

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

You may use these HTML tags and attributes: <a href="" title=""> <abbr title=""> <acronym title=""> <b> <blockquote cite=""> <cite> <code> <del datetime=""> <em> <i> <q cite=""> <strike> <strong>