Colby Rasmus Has Rather Devoted Fan

I consider myself a rather feverish defender of Colby Rasmus against the mewling hordes who would trade him away for, say, Rick Honeycutt. However, my devotions to Mr. Rasmus and his flat bill, which makes him look fly, are shamefully lesser than those of this young lady …

No, I’m not going to mock impressionable teens when they undertake something with earnestness. Instead, here’s a decidedly partial listing of things that “Fire Burning in the Outfield” is better than: Creed, the poetry I wrote in college, seafood, the NFL, Broadway musicals, Rick Reilly, “Two-and-a-Half Men,” tribal-armband tattoos, Nickelback, people interested in Casey Anthony’s whereabouts, the body politic. I could go on, but I need to watch that again.

So where’s your hip-hop paean, La Russa?

(Loving ballad to reader Nick for the 411.)




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Handsome Dayn Perry can be found making love to the reader at CBSSports.com's Eye on Baseball. He is available for all your Twitter needs.

20 Responses to “Colby Rasmus Has Rather Devoted Fan”

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  1. Brian Wilson's Beard says:

    Everything is better than Nickelback, haha.

    Vote -1 Vote +1

    • My echo and bunnymen (Dodgers Fan) says:

      Everything is better than “Two and a Half Men”.

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      • juan pierre's mustache says:

        its surprisingly good if instead of treating it like a comedy, you take everything charlie sheen says as 100% serious and in no way a joke.

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  2. I made it only about 23 seconds before my computer crashed, my ears melted off my head, and I forgot who I was.

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  3. glassSheets says:

    Why yes, I did click to see the Remix.

    My favorite part is the replay of the broken bat bloop single.

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  4. Adam says:

    Pretty sure this was on NotGraphs last year. Anyway, this makes me hope Rasmus gets traded.

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  5. MNB says:

    Saw this 2009 from deadspin. Don’t mind seeing it again. Love it and love Colby. NB: that girl was a high school junior when she made this, so stand down boys.

    Vote -1 Vote +1

  6. theseaspeople says:

    DEADSPIN DID IT!

    Vote -1 Vote +1

  7. Well-Beered Englishman says:

    Hey, I like seafood. Agreement with the rest of your list though.

    And add your sissy American beer. It’s like making love in a canoe -

    Vote -1 Vote +1

  8. slash12 says:

    I saw this a few years ago, and it springs to the front of my mind both every time I hear colby rasmus mentioned, and when the original version of this song comes on the radio.

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  9. Bron says:

    Tits or gtfo.

    +5 Vote -1 Vote +1

    • Resolution says:

      I keep giving this the thumbs up and this stupid site just keeps telling me ‘you already voted’. So effin’ what?

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  10. Dayn Perry says:

    I’m just glad to know I’m the first one ever to post this.

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  11. Resolution says:

    Wait, what does this have to do with Charlie Blackmon?

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  12. Kirkwood says:

    wut

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  13. MikeS says:

    I think we all know what this means.

    Cistulli needs to answer it with a song where he dances around in hot pants and sings the praises of either Charlie Blackmon or Colby Lewis. His choice.

    Vote -1 Vote +1

  14. fritsche says:

    She goes to the same school as me. Haha. It’s funny seeing it all over the internet.

    Vote -1 Vote +1

  15. Dylan says:

    If only Tony LaRussa felt the same way about him as she did…

    Vote -1 Vote +1

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