Colon Packed With Drugs

Another week, another opportunity for rejected headlines.




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Jeremy Blachman is the author of Anonymous Lawyer, a satirical novel that should make people who didn't go to law school feel good about their life choices. Read more at McSweeney's or elsewhere. He likes e-mail.


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Well-Beered Englishman
Guest
Well-Beered Englishman

mine from yesterday was

Roids Found in Swollen Colon

someone else suggested

Colon Blown Out in Oakland

Lichtenstein
Guest
Lichtenstein

Colon Busted by MLB Probe

DD
Guest
DD

Colon Blow (i.e., SNL skit)

Jack
Guest
Jack

Bartolo returns to his Satanist Ways. (See Bartolo Longo)

davisnc
Member
Member
davisnc

I don’t think you’re getting this. Only one of this man’s names doubles as an anatomical feature through which feces and flatus pass.

LC
Guest
LC

A’s Cleansed of Colon

samuelraphael
Member

Colostomy Bag Needed: Oakland’s Ulcerative Colon Excised

deadhead
Member
deadhead

Overworked Colon Busted in Cheating Scandal

Cheating Colon Stinks

Young Stud Fills in Colon’s Space

New Reasons for Colon’s Nasty Stuff

RA Rowe
Member
RA Rowe

Oakland Gets Mandatory Colon-ostomy

joe
Guest
joe

muling it: drugs found in colon

Pumpkin
Guest
Pumpkin

My local newspaper went with ‘Colon of A’s Suspended for 50 Games’ in enormous green lettering at the top of the front page. And I’m 2000 miles away from the Bay Area, pretty sure an intern was having some fun with it (the headline not his actual colon).

steex
Member
steex

Colon-oscopy Reveals Too Much Man

jfree
Member
jfree

Colon leaves a black mark on the sport

Snarky Vaughn
Guest
Snarky Vaughn

More like FARTolo, amirite?

Kick me in the GO NATS
Guest
Kick me in the GO NATS

Test finds drugged Colon leads to pitching gas!!!

me again
Guest
me again

“Hey there’s this pitcher who’s name is another name for an anus and he’s kind of a butt-hole.

Oh, yea and he does steroids.”

Uncle Remus
Guest
Uncle Remus

Fun fact: Christopher Colombus real name is actually Cristobal Colon

Blueyays
Member
Member
Blueyays

Bartolo : Full of Trouble

wpDiscuz