Coming Attractions: Marlins President David Samson On Survivor

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Beauty (McGowan)

Beauty McGowan

This has been my dumb way of announcing that, starting next week, we will be again returning to the often awful world of modern television to review brand new episodes of the brand new season of Survivor: Brawn vs. Brains vs. Beauty, which Marlins president David Samson took a leave of absence DURING THE REGULAR SEASON AROUND THE TRADE DEADLINE to participate in.

No big deal, not like a major league team needs its front office staff in place around during the season. This is the kind of thing that gets an employee fired (if they don’t also happen to be the owner’s stepson). But Samson is ready, especially because, by his own admission,  he’s good at a lot of things, but great at nothing, which is certainly the kind of talk that’s bad for your career prospects (if you don’t happen to also be the owner’s stepson). Here are the preview for the upcoming season and Samson’s profile video:


I literally cannot wait to see what happens when the man who called Miami residents “not the smartest people” and said the politicians who helped the Marlins fund their new ballpark were “not the intellectual cream of the crop” is forced to try to get people he can’t fire and that he’s not related to to keep him in the game. New episodes start Wednesday, and I’ll have the review and recap for you each Friday until Samson’s gone. At the very least, it gives us another chance to watch a truly awful person try to make us laugh on network television. And I feel like our shared hatred of that person brings us closer together. Don’t you?

By the way, this has also another installment in the ongoing puntastic adventures of Dave Brain.




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Mike Bates used to have a stupid pseudonym. Now he doesn't because people want to pay him to write about baseball on the Internet and he's really a sell out that way. He is also a Designated Columnist at SBNation, co-founder of The Platoon Advantage, and is an American Carpetbagger on Getting Blanked, the finest in Canadian baseball-type sites. His favorite word is paradigm. Follow him on Twitter here: http://www.twitter.com/commnman


5 Responses to “Coming Attractions: Marlins President David Samson On Survivor”

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  1. RunTeddyRun says:

    Woo! More recaps of Horrible Television Baseball Things! I wait with absolutely bated breath to read your summaries of “Back Out Of The Game.”

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  2. ncb says:

    so is he the owner’s stepson?

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  3. Shamus Mcfitzy says:

    I don’t think David Samson is that beautiful or brawny, so I don’t understand.

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  4. KabaModern says:

    Well…that was fun.

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