Completed: NotGraphantasy Draft

It’s been a while since I had some fun constructing Cistullian section headings, so I’m going to go ahead and do that for this post, since this post actually makes use of section headings, whereas most of my posts do not.

The NotGraphantasy Draft, What It Was, Essentially

To describe the essence of the NotGraphantasy Draft is easier, and, by virtue of being briefer, likely to be less annoying to the reader than detailing the logistics of said draft.

Essentially, the NotGraphantasy Draft was nine baseball nerds being very baseball nerdy.

The NotGraphantasy Draft, What It Was, Logistically

Logistically speaking, a Google Spreadsheet was created and shared among nine NotGraphs writers. The spreadsheet was populated with — over a too-long period of several weeks — the names (and often nicknames, sometimes improvised) of baseball personalities that the selecting participant felt exhibited exceptional “NotGraphsiness” in one way or another.

Also, emails were exchanged, politely encouraging some participants to hurrythef*ckup, while chiding others for stealing one’s next pick. Wiseness was cracked. Someone made a beer run. In these ways, the NotGraphantasy Draft was not unlike a real, live fantasy baseball draft.

The NotGraphantasy Draft was decidedly unlike a real, live fantasy baseball draft in its distinct lack of homemade buffalo chicken dip.

What the Participants Might Have Considered in Selecting Baseball Personalities for Their NotGraphantasy Team

As mentioned, the participants were advised to consider the “NotGraphsiness” of baseball personalities. In light of that, more specifically, they certainly considered facial hair. Pathos, too. Ebullience, perhaps; Twitter accounts, other-worldly abilities, dong size/shape/essence, enigmatic qualities, proclivities for culture and art, sundry other personal oddities that they (i.e. the participants themselves) witnessed in players in one way or another. Nostalgia, we can assume, guided at least a few selections in this draft. Having the Good Face certainly didn’t hurt a player’s chance of being selected in this draft, nor did having a bad face, nor did an excellent nickname.

The participants would not have considered whether a player was alive or deceased, or if s/he had played in MLB ever. To some degree, the participants would have also ignored whether a personality was real or fictional, as each participant was allowed to select two fictional baseball personalities: one player, and one “auxiliary.”

The participants would have considered where a baseball personality would fit into their roster, given the roster restrictions of the NotGraphantasy Draft.

The Roster Restrictions of the NotGraphantasy Draft, What Those Were, More Specifically

During the first part of the draft, participants were to select players who could be reasonably said to have occupied the following positions:

C, 1B, 2B, 3B, SS, OF, OF, OF, P, P, P

The selection of up to one relief pitcher was permitted, though not required.

Up to one of these players, as mentioned, could be fictional.

In a supplemental section of the draft, participants selected a Home Park, a Manager, and a Baseball Executive.

Up to one of the entities in the supplemental draft could be fictional.

Draft Order, as It Pertains to the NotGraphantasy Draft

The following list presents the order in which the participants of the NotGraphantasy Draft selected the baseball personalities that now comprise their respective NotGraphantasy teams. It was constructed by literally drawing names out of the author’s hat. The order was reversed in even rounds, giving the draft a “snake-like” nature, should a snake ever be constructed out of the columns of a computerized spreadsheet.

  1. Bradley Woodrum
  2. Carson Cistulli
  3. Robert J. Baumann
  4. Jeremy Blachman
  5. David G. Temple
  6. Mike Bates
  7. Patrick Dubuque
  8. Navin Vaswani
  9. Eno Sarris

In Conclusion

In conclusion of the NotGraphantasy Draft, I have written this post as a way to introduce readers to several other posts that will be appearing in the electronic pages of NotGraphs in the coming week (including the first of said this evening, by Bradley Woodrum) in which each of the participants will reveal his roster and present unique reasoning as to why he selected various personalities and/or a reflect on the draft experience.

In conclusion, I had a nice time participating in the NotGraphantasy Draft with my colleagues.

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AC of DC
AC of DC
3 years 23 days ago

A fair Cistulli, though you could have crammed in a reference to Hesiod.

Bluebird in Boulder
Bluebird in Boulder
3 years 23 days ago

To quote Mr. Cistulli himself regarding another attempt at mimicing his style of prose”

“As if the author would condescend to use the first-person pronoun.”

3 years 22 days ago

A 9 team league? Jeeze, All-Stars at every position!