Continued Reflection on Kenley Jansen’s Cutter

Regarding Epicurus’s claim that “real wealth is poverty adjusted to the law of Nature,” Seneca writes in Epistle 1.59 that such an idea “can never be repeated too often, since it can never be learned too well.”

Among the other things of this world in which one couldn’t reasonably immerse him- or herself too deeply, another of them is manifestly Kenley Jansen‘s cut fastball — itself captured (once again) in GIF form here, doing to the Laws of Physics what the author only ever dreamed of doing to the girls on his high school’s volleyball team.




Print This Post

Carson Cistulli occasionally publishes spirited ejaculations at The New Enthusiast.


8 Responses to “Continued Reflection on Kenley Jansen’s Cutter”

You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed.
  1. Derek says:

    Kenley Jansen stuff= electric, that word is used too much but it fits Jansen.

    Vote -1 Vote +1

  2. RA Rowe says:

    Ah yes, the whiffle-ball cutter.

    I bought a Dodgers mini plan near the top upper deck, down the third base line, same depth as shallow left field and the first time I saw him pitch I couldn’t believe how much it moved.

    From that distance, and at that angle, if you can even tell a guy is even throwing a cutter you know it has to be just filthy.

    Now when he comes in I move behind the plate just to watch that thing sail.

    Vote -1 Vote +1

  3. coolieo says:

    Kenley, Chapman, Kimbrel… the holy trinity of closers right now

    Vote -1 Vote +1

  4. Choo says:

    That was a terrifying near-death experience for Ike’s bat.

    Vote -1 Vote +1

  5. dp says:

    On the spectrum of saucy dreams, Kenley Jansen’s cutter lands at the end. The end involves tentacles and all manner of salacious ambiguity that makes one question the wisdom of continued living after waking. (The other end involves the horrors of missionary with one’s spouse.)

    Vote -1 Vote +1

  6. Ike Davis says:

    Here was my thought process on that pitch.

    Ball,
    Strike,
    Swing,
    Fuuuuck!

    Vote -1 Vote +1

  7. nu? billy barooo says:

    Whiffle-ball indeed.

    Hypothrtically, if you are an umpire , at what f@$¿#&kin’ point did that UFO cross the plane of the plate? Did it cross it more than once? Goid thing Ike swung at the thing cause I would hate to have call that pitch…

    Vote -1 Vote +1

  8. Magick Sam says:

    “…doing to the Laws of Physics what the author only ever dreamed of doing to the girls on his high school’s volleyball team.”

    Observing them fully, albeit in an apparently peculiar fashion? Like through a hole, or in a tree? Or wearing a meter-reader’s uniform

    Vote -1 Vote +1

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

You may use these HTML tags and attributes: <a href="" title=""> <abbr title=""> <acronym title=""> <b> <blockquote cite=""> <cite> <code> <del datetime=""> <em> <i> <q cite=""> <strike> <strong>