Continued Yasiel Puig Bat-Flip Coverage for All America

Despite the fact that we all, each of us, invariably spend our days and nights in pursuit of money and then whores and then more money, rumors abound that, on all of our respective deathbeds, neither money nor whores will be of any great concern. This information might come as a surprise to the reader, who is almost certainly reading this post whilst atop a pile of money and beside a comely whore. However, it’s true: in the throes of death, one is more likely to ask questions like, “Did I exhibit courage?” and “Did I treat my friends and family well?”

As the present author is shuffling off this mortal coil and making an examination of both his works and days, he will undoubtedly have many regrets — like that one time he vomited on his shirt in an Armenian taxi, for example, and also that other time he vomited on his shirt in an Armenian taxi. Anyone who suggests, however, that he didn’t make an effort to record every last one of Yasiel Puig‘s televised bat flips, is a goddamn liar.

By way of proof, here’s footage from the seventh inning of Tuesday’s game between the Los Angeles Nationals and Colorado (box):

Puig Flip Probably

And here’s precisely that same footage, except from a different angle:

Puig Flip Other

Credit to concerned citizen of the internet Matt R for bringing these Events to the author’s attention.




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Carson Cistulli occasionally publishes spirited ejaculations at The New Enthusiast.


19 Responses to “Continued Yasiel Puig Bat-Flip Coverage for All America”

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  1. john says:

    Douche

    -26 Vote -1 Vote +1

    • SerMonty says:

      A fleeting exhibition of pride at one’s accomplishment is no measure of a man’s character.

      This is especially true when said accomplishment is remarkable, such as being an elite performer in an extraordinarily competitive field.

      You do not have any idea if Yasiel Puig is a ‘douche’.

      Vote -1 Vote +1

      • The Kudzu Kid says:

        “Douche” is actually onomatopoeia for the sound Puig’s bat makes when it strikes the ball.

        +29 Vote -1 Vote +1

    • Mark Joseph says:

      @John: you really shouldn’t refer to yourself that way; it leads to low self-esteem.

      Vote -1 Vote +1

    • pierce says:

      Using combative monosyllabic curse words is often correlated with low intelligence, you fulminant cockring.

      Vote -1 Vote +1

      • Mountain says:

        Correlated, sure, but not likely causative. I dare say, the causal relationship likely flows from the low intelligence to the combative monosyllabic curse words.

        Also, I live in constant fear of fulminant cockrings.

        Vote -1 Vote +1

  2. stockhfcrx says:

    Cistulli: I believe I speak for the whole of the not graphs readership when I say I want to kiss your face. And that I’m drunk.

    +23 Vote -1 Vote +1

  3. Andy says:

    Puig has really been earning his whore money these days.

    Vote -1 Vote +1

  4. Menthol says:

    That was a pretty good pitch, with a nice late break, and he still flicked it out. Impressive.

    Vote -1 Vote +1

  5. The Return of Rambo Diaz says:

    I now consider myself ravished. With good American, freedom-loving fireworks, too.

    Vote -1 Vote +1

    • Che says:

      You’re welcome, America. If not for Cuba’s glorious health care system and dearth of abundant, cheap calories for all its citizens, he might have been afflicted with the diabetes that seems to afflict your flyover states with great regularity. Viva la revolucion!

      Vote -1 Vote +1

  6. frivoflava29 says:

    In the second gif, we see the bat makes approximately 1.5 rotations before meeting the ground. Utilizing all relevant information regarding physics (or, rather frankly, just the reader’s understanding of what is considered an ideal knuckleball), one can easily ascertain that we’re looking at one of the most skilled douches entertainers of all time.

    Vote -1 Vote +1

  7. hamjenkinsIII says:

    fat blip

    +7 Vote -1 Vote +1

  8. weekend at bernies says:

    I think the woman in the sunglasses in the second row of top GIF is dead. Or texting. Either way, oblivious to the momentous event about to transpire.

    Vote -1 Vote +1

    • brentdaily says:

      To the credit of the kid next to the two dead women, he tracks the ball. But, seriously, those are some 20-grade baseball instincts. Notice how the woman in front of him picks up the flight of the ball a good two to three frames earlier.

      Vote -1 Vote +1

  9. Triple R says:

    Los Angeles Nationals?

    Vote -1 Vote +1

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