Despite the fact that we all, each of us, invariably spend our days and nights in pursuit of money and then whores and then more money, rumors abound that, on all of our respective deathbeds, neither money nor whores will be of any great concern. This information might come as a surprise to the reader, who is almost certainly reading this post whilst atop a pile of money and beside a comely whore. However, it’s true: in the throes of death, one is more likely to ask questions like, “Did I exhibit courage?” and “Did I treat my friends and family well?”
As the present author is shuffling off this mortal coil and making an examination of both his works and days, he will undoubtedly have many regrets — like that one time he vomited on his shirt in an Armenian taxi, for example, and also that other time he vomited on his shirt in an Armenian taxi. Anyone who suggests, however, that he didn’t make an effort to record every last one of Yasiel Puig‘s televised bat flips, is a goddamn liar.
By way of proof, here’s footage from the seventh inning of Tuesday’s game between the Los Angeles Nationals and Colorado (box):
And here’s precisely that same footage, except from a different angle:
Credit to concerned citizen of the internet Matt R for bringing these Events to the author’s attention.
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