Current Mistakes in Facial Hair




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Jeremy Blachman is the author of Anonymous Lawyer, a satirical novel that should make people who didn't go to law school feel good about their life choices. Read more at McSweeney's or elsewhere. He likes e-mail.


12 Responses to “Current Mistakes in Facial Hair”

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  1. WarDamnPhil says:

    Is that gay, chubby Ted Mosby?

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  2. Konerko Getz Kuntz says:

    Is that a rat-tail?

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    • olethros says:

      He transplanted the missing part of the beard back there. The better to praise magical white Jesus.

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  3. Where is Anthony Lerew these days?

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  4. Konerko Getz Kuntz says:

    Also, the fact that Colby Rasmus got THREE hits in one, albeit extra-inning game is cause for celebration.

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  5. Mr. Drummond says:

    The yellow-bellied communist known as Jordany Valdepin refuses to grow a mustache. He must be chided in these very pages.

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  6. NatsFan73 says:

    See what you’ve got here is an early, and I mean practically embryonic stage, Ambrose Burnside…

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  7. diegosanchez says:

    About a year late on this post

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  8. Alexander Nevermind says:

    He deserves plantains thrown at his face.

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  9. Nevin says:

    “I got a Liev Shreiber tattoo, too. Fashioned my whole look after him. I just can’t get enough, man, I love Sabretooth, I love those Wolverine movies. ‘Do you even know how to kill me, Jimmy?’. Man! So cool. What’s that? No, I didn’t see ‘Taking Woodstock’, seemed kinda hippy to me. Liev was in it!? He played a green beret?!? Well paint my wagon, I’m goin’ have to see that.”

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  10. Omrider says:

    His choices on facial hair are still way more impressive than his political choices.

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  11. Bryan says:

    Other apt titles for this piece:

    Current Mistakes in Breeding
    Current Mistakes in Evolution
    Current Mistakes in Roster Construction

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