Daisuke Matsuzaka Was Not Always a Vessel of Pain

Thinking about Daisuke Matsuzaka in one’s own mind is generally an unpleasant experience. Not only has the Dice-K of recent years been decidedly mediocre, he has also been shockingly deliberate en route to mediocrity, requiring more time between pitches over the last three seasons than any other starter with 100-plus innings.

As the footage below demonstrates, however — of a 19-year-old Matsuzaka in his first-ever professional appearance — this was not always the case. There was a time when Matsuzaka was resplendent, like a diamond that’s resplendent — and also has arms, too.

Like here, throwing a 96 mph fastball by Atsushi Kataoka:

Dice K Fast

And here, throwing the same pitch in slow-motion somehow:

Dice K Slow

Just as one ought never to laugh as the hearse goes by, one ought also to check himself before casting aspersions upon Daisuke Matsuzaka — for that same one might be the very next to disappoint an entire fanbase, set himself at odds with management, and fade slowly into anonymity.

Credit to Patrick Newman for bringing author’s attention to video Matsuzaka debut.




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Carson Cistulli occasionally publishes spirited ejaculations at The New Enthusiast.

6 Responses to “Daisuke Matsuzaka Was Not Always a Vessel of Pain”

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  1. AC of DC says:

    I was going to share a story about how Matsuzaka is a prick, but then I noticed in the action .gif what could very well be construed as a bat-flip of defeat executed by Mr. Kataoka: the descending strikeout Yin to the lofted home run Yang — which one might hope would find its way into the bat-flip compilation.

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  2. MustBunique says:

    Was that a Gyroball?

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  3. David says:

    I was playing MLB 2k12 the other day in longing for the season to begin, and Dice-K was pitching to me, his windup was so slow and aggravating that I had to turn off the game and punch a wall for a while.

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    • Fredward says:

      I understand. The guy’s a grade A penis. It’s one thing to take forever in between pitches, it’s another thing to take forever between pitches, and go deep in the count to every god damn batter that he faces. It’s another god damn mother fucking thing to take forever between pitches, and go deep in the count to every god damn batter that he faces, and proceed to walk every other batter. I don’t like Boston, and I don’t like this penis! Where the hell did he sign, Cleveland? I don’t like Cleveland either.

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