It’s a question which, if not as old as time, per se, is at least as old as a one-day-old thing — namely, who, among all the world’s Daves or Davids Cameron, is the most powerful?
What follows is an attempt to answer to that same question, where power has been defined by a complex and proprietary algorithm informed primarily by personal wealth, social and political influence, and how easily the relevant Dave Cameron could have a person just, like, assassinated or whatever.
Using that same flawless methodology, here are the five most powerful Daves or Davids Cameron at the moment:
3. Dr. David Cameron, Queer as Folk
Less powerful than he might otherwise be, insofar as he’s not an actual person, but still important as character in first hour-long drama on American television to portray lives of gay men and women.
2. Dave Cameron, Managing Editor, FanGraphs
Prominent voice in contemporary baseball analysis. Largely responsible for poor performance/demotion of Seattle Mariners second baseman Dustin Ackley. Told cancer to go run off and play.
1. David Cameron, British Prime Minister
Leader of nation with sixth-largest GDP in world. Graduate of Oxford. Could have most anyone murdered — or, at least, imprisoned for a pretty long time — on flimsiest of pretenses.