Details for Tonight’s Meeting of the Corey Kluber Society

Note: Tuesday night’s meeting of the Society has been postponed to 3:35pm ET on Wednesday, because capital-N Nature is flawed.


The Purpose of This Post
The purpose of this post is to announce a meeting — in this case, at 10:05pm ET tonight (Tuesday) — of the Corey Kluber Society.

About the Society
The Corey Kluber Society (or, frequently just “the Society”), founded before everyone was even born, is composed of individuals all bound by their singular enthusiasm for the works and days of Cleveland right-hander Corey Kluber.

Slightly More About the Society
One more thing about the Society is that meetings are not only free but free-ing — which is to say, they facilitate a dark night of the soul. If a dark night of the soul is unavailable, then a poorly lit dusk of the soul will be facilitated.

How to Attend a Meeting
In his great text, Ignatius of Loyola recommends that — to live an authentic life free of vanity — one must become a sort of spiritual athlete. Similarly, to attend a meeting of the Society, one must become spiritually an overlooked Cleveland right-hander who sits at 93 mph and features a plus cutter and breaking ball.

On the Agenda
The agenda for today’s meeting (subject to change) is as follows:

1. Welcome, announcements, etc.
2. Spirited and heartfelt embraces.
3. Report from the Subcommittee on Tonsil Hockey.
4. Late supper: New York Strip Steak or Dover Sole.
5. Shake it, a little.
6. Surrealist games.
7. Watch Kluber “penetrate the lyre’s strings,” if you know what I mean.

How to RSVP
The favor of a reply is requested by right this minute. To reserve your place at tonight’s meeting, respondez vous s’il vous plait into the ether.

Image courtesy Kyle McMahon.

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Carson Cistulli has just published a book of aphorisms called Spirited Ejaculations of a New Enthusiast.

9 Responses to “Details for Tonight’s Meeting of the Corey Kluber Society”

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  1. Marcus Jelks says:

    Looking good two batters in to everyone who drafted all Kluber over Ian Kennedy.

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  2. marcat says:

    Been waiting to penetrate the lyre’s strings again for a good seven months now, thank god for heavenly Kluber’s return.

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  3. A Vengeful God says:

    Neener, neener

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  4. KB says:

    Also simply known as The Klub.

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  5. Justin Lipson says:

    This first meeting isnt going so well…..

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  6. agarcia says:

    Did anyone watch? Doesn’t look good. First outing jitters?

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  7. Sam says:

    I didn’t watch, but looked like his velocity might’ve been a little down, and his control was off too (56% balls). You still gotta roll with him vs SD next week!

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  8. Feeding the Abscess says:

    His velocity didn’t look that off, but he fell behind almost every hitter, and almost every time an Oakland batter made contact, the ball was hit rather hard.

    His first strike rate last season was low compared to his zone% and BB/9 (60% first strike, 52.4% zone percentage, 2.02 BB/9). If you’re going to throw lots of strikes, it’s probably a good idea to do so with the intent of getting in ahead in the count, rather than throwing hittable strikes in 2-1 and 1-0 counts.

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  9. Sam says:

    Oh you’re right- Brooksbaseball says sinker was coming in at 92.4 and maxed at 95. Guess just typical April velocity. My bad.

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