Dispatches from the Sportswriting Microeconomy

Today I have something in common with the idle rich. I am manifestly not rich, but I am now quite, quite idle. That’s because yesterday, after nine years of service — service that gave off every appearance of being loyal — FOXSports.com let me go. It was a budgetary decision, which allows me to fall on the less displeasing end of the somewhat blurry laid off/fired continuum. So that’s something. Right?

Anyhow, I’m not going to sit here and meow on and on about my grim circumstances. Plenty of people are much worse off, and I have cabinets full of canned goods, SSRIs and mind-altering spirits. I’ll be fine. Rather, I’d like to reflect upon some positives that have arisen from my new, blighted condition. To be sure, I have some regrets right now — no longer working with some terrific editors over at FOX is chief among them — but some things sustain me …

  • I now have more time to spend here and over at BBTF. I might also look into doing same with wife and spawn.
  • I have learned that commenters on any mainstream, high-traffic site are, almost without exception, drooling sub-morons. I shall now walk among them far less often.
  • Since I am no longer part of the FOX hootenanny, I can say without fear of reprisal that I don’t much care for the work of Joe Buck. I care even less for the work of Thom Brennaman.
  • The name “NewsCorp” has always creeped me out. It sounds like a place at which Winston Smith would work.
  • My wife has wanted, for some time, a pricey futon for which I do not see the need. Checkmate, wife.
  • My wife has wanted, for some time, a second child for which I do not see the need. Checkmate, wife. (Kidding, dear! Sort of … )
  • I look forward to a significantly lower tax burden in 2011.
  • Since I’ve long been self-employed, I can, despite my unemployment, still hang onto America’s Worst Health-Insurance PolicyTM.
  • I can watch more baseball, which is sort of the point, right?
  • Above all, I carry with me no hard feelings, and I still, in my own estimation, number among the lucky bastards of this world. And as with all things in life, an Internet meme provides guiding wisdom …

    Thank you for listening.




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    Handsome Dayn Perry can be found making love to the reader at CBSSports.com's Eye on Baseball. He is available for all your Twitter needs.


    29 Responses to “Dispatches from the Sportswriting Microeconomy”

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    1. Joe Buck & Thom Brennaman says:

      Wow, dude.

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    2. If you stop taking medication that inhibits inhibitors, you might feel happy.

      Here’s my idea for your future and it will take off like no one’s business and you will become filthy rich.

      IDLE LIFE TO BASEBALL SIMILE AND METAPHOR BLOG.

      Haven’t showered in 5 days. Nuts are stuck to my leg like Bourjos stuck to that wall when he robbed Miggy on the 4th. Probably make the same noise as you peel them off.

      Wife told me to shave and get a haircut. I called her Derek Jeter ’cause she’s about to get 3000 hits.

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      • David says:

        Oh domestic abuse… it needs a catchy slogan to slow it down. Something similar to “stamp out smoking” or “put the brakes on speeding”. Perhaps “raise a hand to the face of domestic violence” or “domestic violence is a black eye for everyone”.

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      • Wife wants a second child. You can call me Schierholtz cause I just scored and walked off.

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    3. Ken Arneson says:

      I’ve recently joined the ranks of the unemployed, as well, Dayn. If you’re bored like me, you can come over and help me finally straighten up the mess that is my backyard.

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    4. Seitz says:

      So now, instead of sitting home all day and doing nothing you’ll be…..sitting at home all day and doing nothing? Guess this means fewer Daisy Cutters and more $2 PBRs from now on, eh?

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      • juan pierre's mustache says:

        who pays $2 a pbr when you can get 30 for $15?

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        • Seitz says:

          Chicago bars tend to charge slightly more than retail liquor stores. Actually, $2 PBRs is a pretty good deal. Good enough to make me drink something as shitty as PBR.

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          • juan pierre's mustache says:

            in philly its about that, yeah–my point wasn’t that you’re overpaying but rather that being unemployed is the perfect time to rediscover the drinking in your home on the cheap skills that you honed in high school/college

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    5. Dayn, did you get caught hacking into cell phones? No? Then, boo, Fox Sports.com. Boo, I say! The world needs more Dayn.

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    6. J-money says:

      I think it’s good news for NotGraphs readers, we could use more DP.

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    7. Resolution says:

      As someone who cares about your well-being, an SSRI inhibitor would be a drug that would inhibit the effects of SSRI’s – I hope this was merely a typo, because trust me, you want the sweet, sweet mellow of an SSRI.

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      • scout1222 says:

        I’m guessing he pays the copay for that particular drug after making a withdrawal from an ATM machine.

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        • Resolution says:

          one of those ones that dispenses cash in 5$ increments I hope – not out of necessity per se, but just because…

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          • Here I was thinking he was referencing the girl in college that was so renowned for her willingness to appease a man’s ATM tendencies (err..desires?) that she was deemed…A MACHINE.

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    8. We love you, Dayn.

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    9. syh says:

      Shitty news (well, besides the positives), but funny article. Wishing you and family the best (more baseball, mostly).

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    10. Cooper Nielson says:

      Been reading you for years but I don’t think I’ve ever visited NotGraphs before. My God, your commenters are funny! Gotta be better than Foxsports.com.

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    11. Ken Arneson says:

      Oh, porch swing, great idea. Can’t think of a better way to pass an unemployed summer than sittin’ on a porch swing, fiddlin’ with an iPad.

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    12. glassSheets says:

      There were only a few things I enjoy about FOX baseball, there are now less.

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    13. Vince Caramela says:

      Sorry to hear this, Dayn. As someone who is trying to make a dollar in this racket I must say the thought of a major conglomerate casting you aside doesn’t give me much hope.

      Anyway, I would wish you luck but you’re obviously too talented and flexible in your interests to stay in the margins for long.

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    14. Todd says:

      Dayn is one of the best writers across the spectrum no matter the genre

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