Don’t Be Cynical: You’ve Been Ice Bucket Challenged

I donned my finest, most sultry workout clothes, braved the balmy Florida heat, and then promptly challenged you, dear NotGraphs reader, to be very not cynical, to fasten your not-cynical pants high upon your pale, voluptuous waist, and ice bucket yourself (if’n you’ve not already done so).

Here’s how it works:

Accept or Decline the Invitation
If you decline, you give the ALS Association — which fights Lou Gehrig‘s disease — $100. You also must brand your forehead with a serif’d “i,” for “invalid” — as in: incapable of icing one’s forehead.

If you Challenge Accepted the challenge, then you hurl a bucket of ice upon your person and then you have the option to make a donation of your chosen value. I chose $15, which is approximately the equal 25 NotGraphs paychecks.

Bucket the Ice
Add water. Introduce the concoction to your head zone. Film this act for proofiness, and then share the proof in the comments here. Anyone who accepts (or previously accepted) and then shares the video in comments will have their video shared in a subsequent post.

If No One Accepts
Then maybe we NotGraphers are just too cynical and maybe we don’t deserve to have NotGraphs. This stupid challenge has already raised millions of dollars.

You have 24 hours!

(from the moment you read this)

Observations from My Own Bucketing

• The body does not like the introduction of extreme cold.
• It (your body) will attempt to decline the challenge at the immediate moment of ice water introduction.
• Shorter shorts are the best.
• It’s far easier to be cynical in this whole thing than it is to be icy.
• Even if you don’t donate, icing yourself alerts the non-baseball types to ALS.
• I expected to have a randy quip handy, but my body fought everything of intent in my being.
• It’s very, very, quite cold.




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Bradley writes for FanGraphs and The Hardball Times. Follow him on Twitter @BradleyWoodrum.


8 Responses to “Don’t Be Cynical: You’ve Been Ice Bucket Challenged”

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  1. John Elway says:

    Don’t put this off furlong. Weather’s only getting colder, you know.

    Just neighing.

    #KeepNotGraphs #ALSIceBucketChallenge #NotGraphsCares

    https://twitter.com/johnelway/status/499643657784655873/photo/1

    +16 Vote -1 Vote +1

  2. Mr. Observant says:

    My friend, Steve Young, wanted you two to know he’s still the better quarterback – and his hair/mane is still uber-sexy. His words, not mine, for the record. Also, I’m magic-markering an ‘I’ onto my forehead as I type.

    Vote -1 Vote +1

  3. Kris says:

    When did you shave your beard? My mom would be so proud of you. You clean up well.

    Vote -1 Vote +1