Because both (a) life is a cavalcade of miseries and (b) alcohol famously offers consequence-free relief from said miseries, it follows that (c) no further incentives need exist for its (i.e. alcohol’s) consumption.
And yet, it is not uncommon to find — in particular, among the Leaders of Tomorrow — to find games designed to facilitate and make more amusing the consumption of alcoholic beverages.
Below are eight examples of real baseball-related drinking games discovered by the present site’s Investigative Reporting Investigation Team and not actually just invented right now by the author, sitting at his dumb writing table.
1. Take a small sip of chablis for every infield fly hit by Joey Votto. (Note: for light drinkers.)
2. Drink a beer for every mention of FanGraphs on a Cubs television broadcast.
3. During a Dodgers home broadcast, take a sip every time you secretly wish Vin Scully would hold you and whisper that everything is okay before commencing a meaningful anecdote about Sandy Koufax.
4. Take a sip for every pitch Jose Molina frames for a strike.
5. Drink an ochoko‘s worth of sake every time Yu Darvish ravishes an opponent figuratively or literally. (Note: culturally relevant beverage!)
6. Divide the number of open seats at a Marlins home game by 1,000. Drink that many ounces of delicious sangria. (Note: culturally relevant beverage, probably!)
8. After listening to the radio broadcast of a Red Sox game, drink every time you catch yourself humming and/or singing the Giant Glass jingle. Continue drinking until this stops happening/you’re at the hospital.
Print This Post