Eight Similes Regarding Danny Salazar’s Changeup

In the absence of video evidence like that above, the reader might find some difficulty in articulating to another party the experience of young Cleveland right-hander Danny Salazar’s excellent changeup.

What follows are eight similes that might at least begin to approximate the experience of same.

1. It’s like a Bowflex that works your sense of majesty.

2. It’s like getting a shark bite on your nice pants.

3. It’s like freaking up against a sasquatch on purpose.

4. It’s like tongue-kissing a switchblade of your own volition.

5. It’s like fiddling with your Cowper’s gland absentmindedly.

6. It’s like driving a stock car into the real sun.

7. It’s like finding your next wife at a Sotheby’s.

8. It’s like making children with the assistance of Pat Benatar.