Observe, the Wikipedia page of one Eric Sogard:
(Click to embiggen. Like, a lot.)
Now, allow me to highlight some notable elements of said Wikipedia page.
1. I hadn’t heard this nickname for Sogard ever before, but in retrospect, it’s hilariously obvious. Check it out:
2. Said glasses:
3. Sogard. Home run. Record. Same sentence.
4. I have to be honest, that whole second round thing really dulls the allure of the story of that guy up there making it to the major leagues.
Eh. Still good.
5. I wonder how jean sales are in Oakland right now.
6. On that home run, the “# parks” according to Hit Tracker Online is zero. Not even one. Zero.
Yes, his second homer (against Koji Uehara, at that) went a respectable 374 feet and would’ve been out of 27 parks. No, I don’t care.
7. Of course. Of course he’s bunting. The two in-game shots are of him fielding a routine grounder… and bunting. This is his skillset.