Emmylou Harris Knows Chipper Jones’s Real Name Is Larry and She Is Offended That You Even Had to Ask

Puffery, via ESPN, The Life:

The Life: We’re told you’re a pretty serious Atlanta Braves fan. Can you prove it? Do you know Chipper Jones‘ real name?

Harris: Larry. I thought I was being tested. This is a test?

The Life: You passed. You really are a baseball fan.


Apparel for a real fan of a real baseball fan.

Knowing Chipper Jones’s real first name makes one a real baseball fan.

For those of you who did not know that, you are not real fans, and you are really banished from FanGraphs.com and all its subsidiaries, henceforth. Because FanGraphs is for real baseball fans only.


If you were not on this fishing trip with Chipper, consider yourself not a real baseball fan.

But, so banished, if you happen to be a real fan of graphs, you can type the name of the man who invented graphs in the comment section, whereupon you will be dubbed a SuperNerd and not only be welcomed back to the FanGraphs community with open arms, but also have Filet-o-Fish sandwiches and Peanut M&Ms dangled into your mouth while being fanned with palm fronds by the HotNotGrapher of your choice. (The choice, of course, is a formality; anyone would pick a Gym-Shorted Carson Cistulli.)



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Bryce
Member
Bryce

René Descartes?

olethros
Guest
olethros

WIlliam Playfair.

I choose a weeping Dayn Perry.

Yirmiyahu
Member

This is the for-real correct answer. And the correct prize.

olethros
Guest
olethros

I cheated, just to be able to request that prize.

Yirmiyahu
Member

I cheated too, but I didn’t even come up with the right answer.

chiefglockandhummer
Guest
chiefglockandhummer

i’m guessing tony graphanino. cause, you know, thus the name.

Peter Whalen
Guest
Peter Whalen

Billy Jo Robideax

Yirmiyahu
Member

J.J. Sylvester

Kyle
Member

Greg Graphs

williams .482
Member
Member
williams .482

Bruce Chen, of course.

robertobeers
Member
robertobeers

Euler invented everything.

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