Extry, Extry: Carlos Santana Has Someone

That’s Indians catcher Carlos Santana pictured above. At first blush, you might think that Mr. Santana is looking a little forlorn and world-weary. However, that’s highly unlikely. That’s because, as the unimpeachable Wikipedia tells us

Carlos Santana (born April 8, 1986) is a Dominican Republic professional baseball player, who is currently a catcher and first baseman with the Cleveland Indians of Major League Baseball’s American League. His best friend is Hayden Clarence.

It’s good to have friends. It’s even better to have best friends. And even better than that is when your besty is the inestimable Hayden Clarence. But who is Hayden Clarence?

The NotGraphs Investigative Reporting Investigation Team answered the call and, as is their indolent wont, did just enough to meet the bare-minimum standards of contractually obligated duty before giving up and mumbling something about it being time for mid-morning tea and having problems with their magnifying glasses and not being able to stand the smell of computers. In other words, a Google Image search turned up nothing illuminating, and a review of the Wikipedia editing logs turned up nothing that made sense.

But the takeaway is that Carlos Santana and Hayden Clarence like to giggle at the same things, and isn’t that what it’s really all about?

Hosannas to NotGraphs reader Sean R., who took a break from his daily routine of sex/one-arm push-ups/physics problems/sex to pass along this bit of eureka.




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Handsome Dayn Perry can be found making love to the reader at CBSSports.com's Eye on Baseball. He is available for all your Twitter needs.


6 Responses to “Extry, Extry: Carlos Santana Has Someone”

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  1. Yirmiyahu says:

    The sentence has been added by 98.27.188.251 four different times. Each of the previous times, it’s been erased. That user has also vandalized other athletes’ pages.

    http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Special:Contributions/98.27.188.251

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    • Mike O says:

      Uhhhhhh how’d you go about finding out the changes made to the profile and whom made them?

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      • Yirmiyahu says:

        On any wikipedia page, you can click “view history” at the top, and see a history of all the edits to that page, and who made them.

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  2. Xenophanes says:

    Methinks user 98.21.188.251 is Hayden Clarence, of whom Carlos Santana grew up very good friends with, only to outgrow him (i.e. Hayden Clarence) and become formidable rivals throughout life with. This is Hayden Clarence’s great master plan of vengeance: making it public knowledge that Hayden and Carlos are still inseparable allies. Dastardly indeed, Mr. Clarence.

    Science has proven this theory, take my word for it.

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  3. albert belle says:

    i love carlos santana, but i am so confused right now.

    -not hayden clarence

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  4. Hayden Clarence says:

    Actually my new best friend is Navin Vaswani. For reals. Forget all those other guys.

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