Fan Base Leaderboard Update: NL East

Well, it’s shaping up to be another mind-numbingly predictable season. Orioles atop the AL East…Rays throwing grapefruits…Reds offense punchless…Pujols disappointing yet again…all-too-familiar names atop the leaderboards…Omar Infante…Jake Westbrook…yawn. Wake me when something happens, will you? But do you know what we do, here at NotGraphs, when suspense is at a premium? We manufacture some, that’s what. I present to you today a leaderboard heretofore never seen: a collection of stats that go beyond mere on-field performance to assess the vitality of a team’s entire culture. Could this completely revolutionize baseball analysis? That’s not for me to say, but yeah, probably.

So I took all the comments from each open game thread on each team’s SB Nation Blog, and I put them in a big-ass text file and crunched it. Here I give you the NL East, with a few of the key metrics picked out. I hardly need to draw your attention to the insights to be gleaned from this table, the questions it raises and the truths it reveals. Why are Braves fans so wordy? Why are Fish fans so clean? Is there a dictionary shortage in Queens? Discuss, readers, and let’s talk about where to go from here.

U: Number of users

Cm/G: Average number of comments per game

W/Cm: Average word count per comment

Ch/W: Average number of characters per word (NOTE: this is DIRECTLY CORRELATED with intelligence!)

FB/G: Average number of F-bombs per game

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21 Responses to “Fan Base Leaderboard Update: NL East”

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  1. harry says:

    What’s the formula for Cheers Above Replacement?

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  2. pbs says:

    We Nats fans are a pithy and erudite lot.

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  3. Michael says:

    Also, does W/Cm adjust for starting pitcher name. E.g. if Cliff Lee is pitching against Jordan Zimmermann, I think an adjustment should be made

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    • Jack says:

      Well, generally, players with longer names attract smarter people. For example, the Red Sox are among the smartest fan bases (all of them go to some various college in Boston), and their catcerh is named Saltalamachiatolamarachimoroccomassachusettsmelancholymarmalademachia.

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  4. Illinois glass M. Michael Sheets says:

    The low FB/G is a direct response to Ozzie’s influence on the Marlins.

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  5. RobBob says:

    Although the metric can be calculated from the numbers above, I think that the comments per user is most telling. And a quick calculation shows that, at an average of over 8 comments per person, the Mets fans just talk too damn much.

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  6. BlackOps says:


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    • Jack says:

      Does this count as an f-bomb? Obviously, the intent is there. You also have to consider possible misspellings. Considering Mets fans appear to be less erudite than their peers, I imagine the f-bomb number could be deflated by those who miss a ‘k’ in there, or add an ‘e’ at the end.

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  7. reillocity says:

    Is a Ph-bomb in a Phillies blog an F-bomb or a distinctly different event? If it’s the latter, then that would explain why the Phillies blog’s FB/G is so low.

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    • Ceetar says:

      It also unfairly elevates their Ch/W because they turn all Fs into PHs.

      I blame griping about Jason Bay for the Mets low Ch/W. Actually, it’s probably vampires or something .

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  8. lonestarball says:

    Yet another group of stats that the Rangers will be leading the majors in.

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  9. lockwood11j says:

    If you divide CM/G by FB/G, which is the number of comments before you see an F Bomb,

    you get an F Bomb

    Phillies every 31 comments
    Mets every 148
    Braves every 458
    Nationals every 7702

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    • CJ says:

      I’m pretty sure Tom Tango did some work showing that fanbases, in general, can’t control CM/FB, and it takes ~100 blown saves to stabilise. Look for some regression to the mean from the Nationals, who can’t possibly sustain this prudishness over a full season.

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    • Fletch says:

      This definitely passes the smell test when it comes to Phillies fans…

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      • Well-Beered Englishman says:

        As a prudish Nationals fan, I think I am skewing their results by interjecting colourful Anglicised curses like ‘bloody’. Were I a Well-Beered Irishman, I would spell it ‘feck,’ besides.

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  10. You continue to raise the bar, Mississippi. Outstanding.

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  11. Angelpants says:

    I think vegetarians could PROBABLY use this research to prove that the higher your cheesesteak consumption, the lower your overall capacity for intelligent expression, judging by Ch/W and FB/G alone. Of course, one may argue back that constant reference to the fightin’ Phils is BOUND to put one in an F-Bomb frame of fandom. I mean, that’s just altogether amateur alliteration awareness. If Phillies fans simply ate more salad, this entire discussion would be unnecessary.

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  12. CurtisStarkeyFan4Life says:

    If anyone were to ask me, “Hey, CurtisStarkeyFan4Life, how are you doing today?” My default answer is, “ROBBED AND FULL OF RAGE!”

    Today boys, today! I am impressed.

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