Presenting FanGraphs- 2012. Unless you pay us $4.99, here’s what happens:

Player Stat Mixups- A random swapping of numbers on your screen every time you move your mouse. Jeff Francoeur hit -1.3 home runs? Yovani Gallardo’s ERA was 53.6%? Maybe. Maybe not. With FanGraphs-, you’ll never know.

Articles- 11 superficial pieces to help you lose your fantasy league:

-Players who would be keepers if they existed
-BEERf/x and other numbers to help you analyze your favorite team’s concession offerings
-Keeper Conundrum: Nick Punto or Kelly Shoppach?
-Improve your draft strategy by stabbing yourself in the eye with a letter opener
-The difficulty in predicting intentional walks
-Unlabeled graphs that don’t mean anything
-Labeled graphs that mean even less
-Strategies for league formats that don’t exist
-Prospects for high school math teams in suburban Boston
-The 1st Annual NotGraphs Mustache Draft
-Looking for Philadelphia A’s who aren’t dead yet

Very Quick Opinions- Over 1100 one-word judgments about every player who played in the majors last season, mostly in Arabic.

FanGraphs- Complete Internet Takeover- All of your favorite websites, replaced with random posts from the FanGraphs archives, as well as images of Randy Johnson replacing all actors and actresses on any adult websites you happen to accidentally visit.

(Moral of this post: check out Fangraphs+)

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Jeremy Blachman is the author of Anonymous Lawyer, a satirical novel that should make people who didn't go to law school feel good about their life choices. Read more at McSweeney's or elsewhere. He likes e-mail.

10 Responses to “FanGraphs-”

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  1. Sociology Degreeer says:

    Ladies and Gentlemen,

    A lifetime Philadelphia A who is still alive:

    Vote -1 Vote +1

  2. GotHeem says:


    Vote -1 Vote +1

  3. Guy says:

    I can’t believe they’re offering this for such a steal at only $4.99!

    Vote -1 Vote +1

  4. Kyle says:

    You’ve convinced me. I’m in!

    Vote -1 Vote +1

  5. jsalin says:

    BEERf/x? Sold.

    Vote -1 Vote +1

  6. Kris says:

    Are you saying this year’s version does not include the writers of notgraphs calender?

    Vote -1 Vote +1

  7. Erik Archer says:

    Franky Nanderpan would be a keeper if he existed

    Vote -1 Vote +1

  8. Eminor3rd says:

    One of the best NotGraphs posts I’ve read

    Vote -1 Vote +1

  9. Well-Beered Englishman says:

    Also a feature of Fangraphs-: Notgraphs will be nothing but Kenesaw Mountain Landis Reacts posts, forever and ever.

    Vote -1 Vote +1

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