Fantasy Baseball Team Names, Mine Is Best Duh

Of course it is the fantasy baseball season now.

So, what have you named YOUR team? Carson Cistulli recently mentioned the Second Fangraphs Writers Ottoneu league — here shortened to THE AWESOME LEAGUE — during his podcast with Dayn Perry (FanGraphs Audio: The Gainfully Employed Dayn Perry) and the topic of team names briefly surfaced in their 43 minutes of otherwise unredeemable radio ranting.

There are lots of great fantasy baseball team names out there, and because THE AWESOME LEAGUE (my league) is comprised (a) entirely of writers and (b) partly of NotGraphs writers, who are the beatnik poets of the FanGraphs staff, we NotGraphers have the burdensome task of out-awesoming our peers in the most shortest form of poetry — yes, the fantasy baseball team name.

But, as we are all writers and thereby unreliable, backstabbing, self-loathing types, we cannot be trusted judges of our own team names — it is obviously that mine is best, but still we should put it to a vote and find who is the obviously second and the obviously worstest.

So, dear NotGraphs rabble, speak your soul:


Though I don’t even have like permission to share these THE AWESOME LEAGUE team names, I think we should compel the lowest vote-getter (by, oh, let’s say Wednesday) to change their fantasy team name.

What should they change it too? (tell me in the comments)



Print This Post

Bradley writes for FanGraphs and The Hardball Times. Follow him on Twitter @BradleyWoodrum.


Sort by:   newest | oldest | most voted
Mallow
Guest
Mallow

I named mine The Human Cespedes and think it’s better than all of these.

I’m a sucker for Brass Bonanza though…

David
Guest
David

Human Cespedes is outstanding. I’m partial to Nyjerz Wit Attitudes myself.

barney
Guest
barney

Love The Human Cespedes aswell. If you’re in Pittsburgh Huntington’s Disease is always a winner.

Jake
Guest
Jake

Those are all pretty bad team names.

David
Guest
David

Dick Allen fail

DD
Guest
DD

How about “Dan, your Uggla”

DD
Guest
DD

you’re*

keith m
Guest
keith m

Anal Hershiser

OzzieGuillen
Guest
OzzieGuillen

Or Anel Hershiser

MH
Guest
MH

I’m planning on attempting to carry forth a tradition of using former fringey Mets prospects who are expected to play a large role in the upcomming season in my team names. Last year was year one of this tradition, when my team was named “Thole Moley!” and this year I shall move on to “The Dudabides”. However, so as not to give away any potential draft strategy, I always use a proxy name until after the draft–my former band name that also works surprisingly well as a fantasy baseball team name: “The Runs”.

Bryan Grosnick
Guest
Member

I did this last year with “Niese Guys Finish Last”. Bizarre.

Well-Beered Englishman
Guest
Well-Beered Englishman

Oh, come on! Where’s the love for the Houston Babies?!?!

I mean, granted, that’s already what the real team is called, but still.

rotofan
Guest
rotofan

To honor the memory of my late-Dad, a die-hard Brooklyn Dodgers fan, I named my primary auction team:

Ebbets Fielders

Bryan
Guest

When Kosuke Fukudome first signed stateside, I named my rec softball team Welcome to the Fukudome. I don’t play fantasy, but I’d probably stick with that if I did.

steex
Guest
steex

I strongly suggest that someone who enjoys tasteless names try out Lincecum Dumpster. For the discerning participant who prefers a less popular player pun, I suggest Blow Your Gload.

Kyle H
Guest
Kyle H

hahahahaha

Lewis
Guest
Lewis

Blow Your Gload just gave me the giggles. May I suggest a slight upgrade to Lincecum Dempster, though?

Jackson
Guest
Jackson

The Texas Matt Cainsaw Massacre
The Mark Hamburgulars
The Joe West Side Story

Well-Beered Englishman
Guest
Well-Beered Englishman

Wild Wild Joe West

Albert Lyu
Guest

Chains of Custody

SAmmy
Guest

Uecker’s Stalkers

Portrait of Jim Joyce as a Young Man

Balboni Sandwich

Buffalo Chips

Quilvio Veras

Gary Cederstrom & His Orchestra

Professor Farnsworth’s Wonder Salve

Confederacy of Dunn’s’s

ID
Guest
ID

Nobody f***s with DeJesus

buddy
Guest
buddy

How about the Philadelphia Killa Watts?

dave
Guest
dave

my team name this year and my all time personal favorite is Sons a Pitches.

Erik Hahmann
Guest
Erik Hahmann

To give the meaning of my team name, I was in a Google doc with another writer and meant to type ‘opposite’ but instead typed ‘poopsite’. He called me out on it.

Mark
Guest
Mark

Ron Santo’s Leg Lamp
Slapnuts
Morning Wood
Fister Pujols
I Cano what you did last summer

Erik Archer
Guest

Live Nude Youkilis

Mark
Guest
Mark

Soria Sonofabitch
Schilling me softly

AndyS
Guest
AndyS

Cuddy’er Mak’ers

SAmmy
Guest

Brilliant.

Mutt
Guest

Rock Car Direction

Patrick
Guest
Patrick

Show me the Koufax
Take Maholm Tonight
Steib in the Dark
Dennis Boyd’s 4am Benders
Dukes of Hazzard
Ass Dribble Cabrera’s

And for the more literary minded:
All the Pretty Morse’s
Les Maicer-ables
For Whom the Bell Tholes
Death of a Chris Sale, Man
Corey Hart is a Lonely Hunter
The Santana Verses

Oliver
Guest
Oliver

My team this year is Grand Admiral Braun. /StarWarsDork.

Bryz
Guest

Mickey D’s Super Happy Fun Time Gang (just because I like having the longest name in my league)

Taking Care of Bryz-ness (or alternatively, Risky Bryz-ness)

St. Peter MacGyver Cult

David
Guest
David

I like to combine Asian baseball players with insipid romantic comedies. To wit:
– Love, Hak Ju Lee
– He’s Just Not That Shin Soo Choo

Terminator X
Guest
Terminator X

He’s just not that Shin Soo Choo is genius.

Bryz
Guest

He’s Just Not That Shin Soo Choo is amazing.

Cricketer
Guest
Cricketer

Love, Hak Ju Lee is pretty awesome as well.

rrbass27
Guest
rrbass27

I’ve been going with Royals with Cheese this year.
I have also used the Hartford Whalers just to keep the Bonanza Alive.
I love hearing it at Fenway only to be met with blank faces.

Dave and Patrick Awesome names!

Salas Con Queso?

jts5
Guest
jts5

love royals with cheese

Sixto L.
Guest
Sixto L.

The Biggest UZR
Prince Field Sausages (you’d have to be vegan to get that one)
Piquot Farm Implements (obscure Sinclair Lewis reference)

(Three of my teams from last year)

reillocity
Guest
reillocity

Shin-Soo-sanity

Chris
Guest
Chris

Owner of a lonely Hart
Sad but Choo
Tommy (Hanson) can you hear me?

Big Poppy
Guest
Big Poppy

The Royal TenenBrauns

FTW!! lol

Regg
Guest
Regg

boner of a lonely heart kevin mcreynolds

JdeWitt88
Guest

for the 30 Rock fans these are two i went with last year:
The Rural Juror
ICU81MI

JSN89
Guest
JSN89

Droppin’ Gloads

ElJosharino
Guest
ElJosharino

The last few years I’ve been just throwing the word “Jock” into something that kind of sounds like “Jock”:
The Jockroaches
The Jockbrokers
Jock of Seagulls
Rock around the Jock
To Kill A Jockingbird
etc.

Darby
Guest
Darby

Lincecum in Her Pujols

Jblo7
Guest
Jblo7

Brauny Forehead

Ira
Guest
Ira

To go with the literary theme: Jesus Flores for Algernon

Todd
Guest
Todd

Always Sonny in Grayadelphia

Satty5
Guest
Satty5

Phil’ies Nuts

Joe
Guest
Joe

Like the Braun Supremacy. My current favorites are Bumpin’ Utley’s and Sexson the Beach. Found both at http://www.BestFantasyTeamNames.com They have hundreds of names that get ranked daily. Hilarious

wpDiscuz