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Felix Fermin To Feast On Your Entrails Just As Soon As He Puts On This Cap

Posted By Robert J. Baumann On March 11, 2013 @ 2:31 pm In Wisdom | 2 Comments

Former MLB shortstop and current manager of the Águilas Cibaeñas of the Dominican Winter League, Felix Fermin, is going to eat your entrails in a second, but right now he is putting on this baseball cap.


Felix Fermeeeeeeeeeeeeen!!!!!!

Felix Fermin has two big strong hands, which are capable of incredible dexterity; you are seeing this dexterity in action presently as he puts this cap directly onto his head without crushing said cap. In a second, though, just as soon as Felix Fermin is comfortable with how this cap rests on his head, he’s going to use those hands to pull your outer flesh apart in order to gain access to your delicious entrails. Yes, Felix Fermin is convinced that your entrails are delicious and he is happy to see you have arrived, fresh and jiggling and alive.

Hehehehehehe, Felix Fermin does not even want to complete the act of putting on this cap, because he smells what you just ate for lunch through the filter of your entrails. Once Felix Fermin rips open your outer flesh, he will also rip open your entrails to get at your lunch; he will eat the undigested mush as an appetizer — before he eats your entrails. He likes that. He is glad you came and feels a little like he cannot even wait to finish putting on this cap before he “digs in.”

But Felix Fermin wants to delay pleasure of feasting on your entrails. Also, he knows the effect of his stare from beneath this hat-in-flux will be to excite your guts with anxiety, to sort of slow cook your entrails for a second while he finishes putting on this cap. Yes, Felix Fermin likes your entrails to be luke warm and sort of frothy with fear.

So enjoy this last second of being wholly beboweled. Try to appreciate your guts where they are, because Felix Fermin is almost done putting on this cap, and after the cap is on, your entrails are his.


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