I bought this book of National League logo cross-stitch patterns (featuring the Expos logo and the Astros’ dome logo!! So excited to embroider those on everything I own) in a fit of I-just-got-my-tax-return-back-ness the other night, but I have a lot of questions for this guy. Like,
1. Is there whiskey in that coke?
2. Did you make the Phillies hat, Dodgers polo, Mets’ ashtray (?), and Giants’ baseball-stuff-holder-for-the-wall, or did your wife make them all and give them to you? If the former, cool. Really. If the latter, how come she’s not in the picture, huh?
3. How did you come to be a fan of all of those teams?
4. Where did you get those jeans?
5. Can I have some popcorn?
6. How about that butterscotch, grandma?
7. Did you feel like you looked silly in that hat, and that’s why you’re not wearing it? I can relate to that. I always buy hats but I think I look dumb in them. Regardless, it’s a cool hat. It reminds me of my softball team when I was eight because we were the Phillies and our outfits were maroon.
8. What were you about to say?
9. Isn’t that actually a softball back there? Really, dude?
10. Where do you get your hair cut?
If anyone can track this guy down and ask him these questions for me, I will sew the logo of their favorite NL team onto anything they own.