First Paragraphs Of Greatness

From Michael Wray at Jays Journal:

Thanks to a poor lifestyle decision when it was announced on Friday night that Marcus Stroman had been called up by the Toronto Blue Jays and would start on Saturday I was hugging my bathroom’s toilet bowl. By the time I came to my senses, Stroman was already into his fifth inning of work and I had missed what sounded like a spectacular start.

Because we don’t skimp on research here at NotGraphs, let’s figure out exactly how long Michael Wray was on the toilet. Shi Davidi from Sportsnet tweets about Stroman’s recall at 12:38 AM Saturday morning:

The Blue Jays gameday feed seems to indicate that the fifth inning ended at 2:25 PM:

Wray claims to have recovered sometime during that inning… so let’s approximate and say 2:15.

That puts him on the toilet for at least 13 hours and 37 minutes. I don’t know if it’s Guinness Book worthy… but, nice work, Michael Wray.

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Jeremy Blachman is the author of Anonymous Lawyer, a satirical novel that should make people who didn't go to law school feel good about their life choices. Read more at McSweeney's or elsewhere. He likes e-mail.

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Rob Ford
Rob Ford
2 years 23 days ago

This Wray kid’s got a bright future ahead of him.

Kyle Franzoni
2 years 22 days ago

Don’t worry, as his Editorial Director, I’ve instructed Mr. Wray to avoid difficult lifestyle decisions before Stroman’s next expected start on Friday night.