Fozzie Bear Hired to Write AL Game Wraps

fozzie

The following headlines actually appear on MLB.com today:

Giambi Gives Tribe a Brant New Day
Another Homer for Miggy Before Tigers Get Jiggy
Fish Feel LoMo-mentum Shift Late in KC
Blue Jays Lay Down Lawrie, Edge Red Sox
Hair Rays-ing! Walk-off Win Snaps Skid
Texas Bullish Against Milwaukee ‘Pen
Robbie Is Aptly Named as Astros Stun Athletics

The questions abound. When did this start? Who thinks it is a good idea? Why does the National League not get the same treatment? Does MLB.com have one person on staff writing their NL wrap headlines and another person, presumably 9 years old, writing their AL counterparts? Has MLB decided to market the junior circuit as their “fun” league? How long can this possibly continue before the eyeballs of Internet readers everywhere rupture from the sheer pressure of awful punnery? And, most importantly, what awful puns can we ourselves contribute?




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15 Responses to “Fozzie Bear Hired to Write AL Game Wraps”

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  1. “Walk-a walk-a walk-a!”

    +21 Vote -1 Vote +1

  2. Michael Wacha says:

    I wish Fozzie Bear wrote the NL game wraps…..

    Vote -1 Vote +1

    • Huisj says:

      Cardinals get last laugh with strong performance from Wacha Wacha Wacha.

      +14 Vote -1 Vote +1

      • Jay29 says:

        Yeah, I could’ve sworn when clicking the title that there was going to be some kind of accidental doubling or tripling of Michael Wacha’s last name.

        Vote -1 Vote +1

  3. harpago17 says:

    NL Headline from 2 days ago: “Phillies’ plans foiled by those Medlen kids”.

    So it’s not just an AL thing.

    +17 Vote -1 Vote +1

  4. I'm Leslie Knope says:

    Dervish Darvish Spins Out of Control! Yu Brings Heat in Texas Summer, Strikes Six Stros in Shins!

    Vote -1 Vote +1

  5. Gabe says:

    Yu Can’t Touch This- Darvish Shuts Down ‘Stros
    Rays-Ing Cain- Rays Brutally Murder Cain, Trounce Giants

    Vote -1 Vote +1

  6. Dan Gladden says:

    he’s in the wrong league:

    wacha wacha wacha!

    Vote -1 Vote +1

  7. JayT says:

    All of the NL puns are used up any time Jayson Werth does anything.

    Vote -1 Vote +1

  8. KCDaveInLA says:

    “Miss Miggy? HIIIYA!”

    Vote -1 Vote +1

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